She stands a minute, her hair mussed, skin splotched, touching her fingers to her cheeks in front of the mirror. She pulls up the waist of her jeans, breathes in, pulls her shirt down long over her ass. She’s grateful that Henry and Alice mostly fill their walls with art and not with family pictures. She’s grateful that, mostly, she can avoid catching sight of Helen’s face. But on the dresser, right next to where she just fucked her husband, she sees a photo of her mom at Martin’s wedding, so much younger, smiling, arms wrapped around Kate’s brothers. Helen is so completely Helen: her hair, her smile, the way her hands hold so tightly to her sons’ waists.

She hears Josh call to Henry about a creak he found on the banister as he heads downstairs, and she looks again at her mother, then back at herself in the mirror, then away. Fingers hard against her face, palms pressing into each of her cheeks, Kate breathes in and holds the air a second in her belly—thinking of the yoga that she sometimes does on YouTube while the kids are at school—then breathes out long through open lips.

Alice goes to get more drinks in the kitchen, to start to clear the plates from the kids who have run back upstairs, having cleaned their hands and faces—having said they did. She gets a text from Maddie and responds too quickly. She’s had her phone with her all night in case. Maddie doesn’t text her every day but she does often. Sometimes three or four times quickly, especially this time of night. Maddie sends long paragraphs about what she’s reading, sometimes GIFs or long strings of emojis. She asks Alice how she is, and Alice is never sure the right way to respond. Hi, says this one, followed by a smiley-face emoji. Hope you’re having a good night. Now, Alice sends her another picture of the Christmas tree, all decorated. As she sends it, she marvels at how beautiful it is, how she and Henry would never have decorated a tree themselves, maybe not even gone to get it. But she likes the feel of it when she comes down the stairs.

She adds a second text: Send yours?