“Yeah, I do. Just like I know that every time I want to talk about something, you snap at me. It’s a defense mechanism. You keep me and everyone else at arm’s length that way. And that way no one can get in.” He took a step toward her. “You really think I don’t understand? You lost your whole family when your mom died. You and I started when you were emotionally screwed up, I know that. I know that Tom and your mom were in love. They were probably going to get married, but that was taken away from you too. You think you’re all alone, so you need—really need—to find another place. A place that isn’t Mountainside and isn’t the Rot and Ruin. I get that, I really do. That’s why you’ve been so obsessed about the jet. It’s like a . . . like a lifeline, I guess.”

“It’s not that simple,” she said bitterly.

“I know that, too,” Benny said.

Nix turned away again and continued to stare out at the desert forest.

Benny summoned all the courage he could find. He braced himself to say what he knew he had to say next.

“Nix,” he began softly, “it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore. It’s okay if you don’t want to be my girlfriend anymore. It’s okay if you just want to be you.”

She stiffened.

“I love you,” he said. “I really do, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that whatever you need to do to figure out who you are and what you want . . . I’ve got your back, but I’ll never get in your way.”

His mouth hurt to say those words, and inside his chest it felt as if a huge, icy fist was squeezing his heart into pulp. But Benny stood his ground and forced his eyes to stay dry. Tears now would be of no help to anyone.

Nix did not turn, she did not say a word. She stared out at the day, and Benny watched her and tried to remember how to breathe.

Then Nix gasped and said, “Oh my God!” She stumbled backward in horror, pointing out into the desert.

“What—?” asked Benny.

But as he rushed to her side, he saw what it was. Outside, near where the three zombies hung on their T-bars, were three people. Reapers.

Two men and a tall woman with masses of dark brown hair.

“Nix!” cried Benny in a strangled whisper, “that’s her. That’s the woman I saw today in the field right before the zoms chased me.”

Chapter 57

57

“YOU’RE SURE?” ASKED NIX. “SHE’S THE ONE FROM THE FIELD?”

“Positive.”