‘But he has not acknowledged you out of kindness. He has done it because he needs you. Apart from his wife and baby son you are the only close family he has. You are his knight champion. The gauntlet on his hand, always ready to fend off his enemies. He will not disown you if you follow your heart.’

‘Perhaps not but he will no longer trust me.’ Jasper sighed and cupped my chin in his hand, gazing more deeply into my eyes. ‘I am not a free man, Jane, but that is of my own choosing. You must believe me when I say that I will never betray his trust. I will always support and defend my brother the king as long as I have breath in my body.’

‘And what if he never gives you permission to marry?’ I was losing heart. The look in his eyes told me I had made a mistake in revealing my true feelings for him.

He shrugged and dropped his hand, leaving me bereft. ‘Then I shall die without issue. I may do so, even if I do marry. It is all in God’s hands.’

I wanted to tell him that I would love him and give him children without the sanction of marriage but I did not want to hear the word ‘honour’ again. I had heard enough of Lord Jasper’s thoughts on that subject.

17

Jane

Pembroke Castle

THE FEAST OF ALL Souls came and went and Harri loved the guising and the games we played to scare the evil spirits away. Maredudd dressed up as an imp, his face blackened with ashes, and leapt through a flaming ring to flee, capering in fear at the sight of a wooden crucifix decorated with evergreens, causing the nine-month-old infant to laugh and clap his chubby hands. In Jasper’s new mansion the gloom of the lying-in chamber was a distant memory; it had become our playroom, with colourful hangings and cushions, rugs on the floor and a guard before the fire to prevent accidents. Harri had been weaned onto bread messes, vegetable pottage and ewe’s milk from a special cup and the wet nurse had returned to her home in Pembroke.

November rain and gales howled in, sending us all to seek warmth around the hearth and tell each other ghost stories. Lord Jasper’s couriers brought letters and Lady Margaret maintained a regular correspondence with Sir Henry Stafford. His latest missive held news of the wedding.

‘We are to be married on January 3rd at Maxstoke Castle,’ she said, looking up from reading it. ‘Oh that is a pretty place. I went there once with my mother. It is only two days’ ride from Bletsoe.’

I looked up from my sewing. ‘And will your mother come to the wedding?’