Back First and Forever Save as PDF
Chapters (28)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. Epilogue
  25. Act Your Age Excerpt
  26. Acknowledgments
  27. About the Author
  28. Also by Eve Dangerfield

“Good fucking luck.”

Eden punched in the gate code—the year England won the soccer world cup—and walked up the immaculate white driveway. As she got closer to the house that had been her home, tight waves of pressure rolled through her. The same feeling she’d always had in this place—of being small. Unworthy. Irritating. Then she remembered Willow, jumping out of the car in his suit, threatening to attack her whole family, and the pressure eased enough to let her breathe.

When she left home at seventeen, her key was taken away. She’d never gotten another one. Ignoring the doorbell, she knocked. Shave and a haircut, two bits.

Shirley, her parents’ cleaner, answered the door. She stood back, eyebrows raised at her outfit. “Eden?”

“Hi, yeah. Nice to see you again.”

Shirley smiled politely but it was clear she was freaked out. Her parents probably said that she drank toilet cleaner or something. “Are mum and dad around?”

“They’re out on the lawn with your sister.”

Her stomach squirmed. Jenna was in London, so Sienna had to be here. Fate had intervened, for better or worse, Eden wasn’t sure.

“I’ll head out,” she told Shirley. “Thanks for letting me in.”

“Of course. Shall I get you a cup of tea?”

Shirley was a cleaner, not a maid, but she was always getting roped into doing tea-service bullshit. Eden shook her head. “No thank you.”

She slipped through her mausoleum of a home, smelling the fresh flowers and crisp paint of her childhood.

Goodbye, she thought. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Her parents and Sienna were sitting at the patio table, a silver tea tray in front of them.

“The Parkers will have to sit next to the Wilkinsons,” her mother was saying. “They couldn’t possibly be near the Morans.”

Sienna saw her first. She didn’t say anything, just stared with her beautiful mullet face. Then her dad caught her eye, jolting upright and spilling tea down his shirt. “Edie?”

Eden waved at him. “Morning.”

Her mother turned, mouth falling into a perfect pink ‘O.’ “What are you doing here? Why are you dressed like that?”

“Great welcome, mum. Really hospitable.”

Eden put her hands on her hips and studied her parents. They looked smaller in the sunshine. Her father’s face was full of wrinkles, her mother’s hair thinning at the crown. For years they’d terrified and controlled her, made her feel like the worst person in the world. Now they were just old people with brittle bones and white hair.

“What do you think you’re doing?” her mother snapped. “Why have you barged in like this?”

Her insides quivered, shame threatening to take hold. She pictured Willow storming out of his car, swearing to avenge her, and she held her mother’s gaze. “I’m leaving, Maggie. I’m out.”

“Out of what? The wedding? You can’t drop out of the wedding.”