The bed seemed so big suddenly, like a sea of soft white cotton compared to the bed downstairs that had become hers.

Slowly, Kate took off her robe and peeled out of her nightgown, trying not to notice how white and sticklike her legs were. Even worse was the battlefield that had been her breasts. She looked ruined, like a little boy, only there were the scars.

Johnny stripped out of his clothes, kicked them aside, and climbed back into bed beside her, drawing the covers up to their hips.

Her heart was thumping hard as she looked at him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, and leaned forward to kiss her scars.

Relief and love cracked her open inside. She kissed him, her breath coming hard and ragged already. In their twenty years of marriage they’d made love thousands of times, and it was always great, but this was different; they had to be so gentle. She knew he was terrified of breaking her bones. She hardly remembered later how it had all happened, how she’d come to be on top of him; all she knew was that she needed every part of him, and everything that she was, that she’d ever been, was irrevocably tied up with this man. When he finally entered her, slow and easy, filling her, she came down to meet him, and in that glorious second, she was whole again. She bent down and kissed him, tasting his tears.

He cried out her name so loudly she silenced him with her palm; if she’d had any breath left she would have laughed at his outburst and whispered, The kids!

But her own orgasm, seconds later, made her forget everything except the pleasure of this sensation.

Finally, smiling, feeling young again, she snuggled up against him. He put an arm around her and pulled her close. They lay there a long time, half sitting against the mound of pillows, watching the firelight, saying nothing.

Then, quietly, Kate said what had been on her mind for a long time. “I can’t stand to think of you alone.”

“I won’t ever be alone. We’ve got three kids.”

“You know what I mean. I’d understand if you and Tully—”

“Don’t.” He looked at her finally, and in the eyes she knew as well as her own she saw a pain so deep she wanted to weep.

“It was always you. Just you, Katie. Tully was a one-night stand, a long time ago. I didn’t love her then and I never have. Not for a second. You’re my heart and soul. My world. How can you not know that?”

She saw the truth in his face, heard it in the tremble in his voice, and she was ashamed of herself. She should have known this all along. “I do know that. I’m just so worried about you and the kids. I hate to think . . .”