In the bathroom, he helped her to the toilet and let himself be her crutch as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. By the time she was dressed for bed, she was exhausted. She hobbled slowly across the room, clutching Johnny’s arm. Halfway there, he swept her up again and carried her to bed, tucking her in. “I don’t know how I can sleep without you in bed with me,” she said.

“I’m right there. Ten feet away. If you need me in the night, just yell.”

She touched his face. “I always need you. You know that.”

His face crumpled at that; she saw the toll her cancer had taken on him. He looked old. “And I need you.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

That scared her more than it should have; the forehead kiss was for old people and strangers. She grabbed his hand, said desperately, “I won’t break.”

Slowly, still looking at her, he kissed her lips, and for a glorious moment, time and tomorrow fell away. It was just them; when he drew back, she felt colder.

If only there was something they could say; words that would ease them over this bumpy road.

“Goodnight, Katie,” he said at last, and turned away from her.

“ ’Night,” she whispered back, watching him go to his own bed.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX

For the next week Kate soaked in the early summer sun; her days were spent huddled under her treasured afghans in a chair by the beach, writing furiously in her journal, or talking with her kids or her husband or Tully. Evenings were taken up by conversation; Lucas and William told the longest, most run-on stories in the world. By the end of them, everyone was laughing. Afterward, the adults sat around the fire. More and more often they talked about the old days, back when they’d been too young to know that they were young, when the whole world had seemed open to them and dreams were as easy to pick as daisies. The funniest part of all was watching Tully try to take over the household duties. She burned dinners, bitched about an island world where no one delivered food to your home, ruined laundry, and repeatedly received instructions about how to operate the vacuum. Kate especially loved it when she heard her friend mutter, “This at-home shit is hard. Why didn’t you ever tell me? No wonder you looked tired for fifteen years.”

In any other circumstances it would have been the time of Kate’s life. For once she was the center of attention.