Lifting one hand, I folded it over my left ear and pressed down. The whirl of the fan faded until I could barely hear anything. True silence. I closed my eyes again and held my breath. In the stillness of my room, I acknowledged that I had wasted years of my life after being on the receiving end of a second chance. That was something hard to face even though I’d been doing just that over the last couple of weeks. To know one was only existing and not living.

I was starting to live, though. Truly. I believed that. Tears pricked my eyes. I could try harder, and I would . . . I would buy more bookcases. Then, when I was home over Thanksgiving, I would bring some of my most favorite books back.

I could do more.

I needed to do more.

Then, finally, my thoughts quieted, and for a few blessed seconds, there was nothing outside or inside me. Nothing.

My lungs started to burn, and only then did I draw in another deep breath. Lifting my hand from my ear, I touched the scar again and then shook my head. Cheeks damp, I pressed my lips together and didn’t move for a long moment.

Throwing off the covers, I crept out into the shadowy living room. “Rhage?” I whispered. The dull overhead lights over the island cast a soft glow into the living room. I saw Rhage sitting by the end table.

“Sorry,” I said. His ears twitched. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I knelt and extended my arms. Rhage didn’t move for a moment, but then he rose and darted to my arms. I picked Rhage up, holding him to my chest as I turned and walked back to bed. I climbed in and laid him down beside me. Maybe he sensed I needed kitty cuddles, because he didn’t run away from me or try to bite me. He curled up against my stomach and quickly fell asleep.

It was a long time before I dozed off, haunted by memories of a long-ago night that now seemed like yesterday.

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Staring out the window at the rapidly darkening sky, I opened and closed my hands over and over as Brock pulled out of the parking lot of the Academy.

The whole day had been . . . weird. My mood was somewhere between eating a bag of Cheetos in one sitting and randomly wanting to paint and redesign my entire apartment. Eating the Cheetos would’ve felt amazing at the time but would’ve ended up making me feel gross. Painting was a no-go since I didn’t own the apartment. And I sucked at interior design, but yeah, that was my mood all day.