“I have to do something.” I dodge away, and my hands shake as I reach out for a passing flower on a bush, burying my face in its soft petals so Malachite doesn’t see me crying. “I have to do something he’ll hate so I can get my heart back. And when I do, I’ll have to piece together who I really am. I don’t even know—” I stop. “I don’t even know what I’ll want after that. The hunger will be gone. I’ll have nothing moving me forward anymore. I’ll have no immortality. I’ll have to be scared of death again. I thought that’s what I wanted, but… That’s why I’m special, isn’t it? That’s why Varia keeps me around. It’s the whole reason the witches sent me here, the whole reason I met Fione and Lucien and you. It’s why I could kill Gavik and protect Lucien. It’s what makes me strong. Otherwise, I’m just a girl with a sword.”

together, stronger than alone.

My laughter sounds cold and mad even to my ears.

“But when I get my heart back, I’ll be alone in my head. All alone. Weak.”

Moonskemp lights up only one part of the palace, the candlelight glowing softly through the high windows, the nest of luminescence perched above us on the hill.

I stare up at it longingly. “I’ve just been careening toward my heart all this time, I haven’t given any real thought to what comes after. And I’m terrified of it. I have all these vague, nebulous ideas of peace but—if Varia gets her way, the peace will be only temporary.”

Malachite freezes. “What do you mean?”

It’s too hard to tell him the truth—that Varia will die if she gets the Tree. It would drive Lucien to stop us, I know it would. And if he did, there’s a chance he could succeed.

I’m being forced to choose again. Between my heart and him. But this time…this time I’ll make the right choice.

I pat my eyes dry, picking up my pace. “I despise crying, don’t you?”

Malachite grabs my arm then, pulling me back. His face is more serious than ever, white brows furrowed. “Zera, c’mon. You have to tell me. Luc’s worried sick about what’s going on with Varia and you down there—he’s barely been sleeping with all his gallivanting around on the streets trying to figure out what it is. If he keeps going like this—”

That’s where all Lucien’s dark circles are coming from. I frown. “You’re his bodyguard, not his body…body-not-guard. Do something! Drug his water if you have to.”