“I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you.”

My chest caves. To turn and face him right now, to talk through our problems and mistrust, to try to heal the wounds I’ve made—I want that.

he’s manipulating you. The hunger sneers. reeling you in with bait to help the sister he cares so much more for.

I speak without turning to look at him. “It’s better if you do.”

Every cobblestone I walk over and put between him and me, the easier it is to breathe. The pressure on my chest is crushing, but the emptiness in my unheart is cold and hollow. He will not stand between my heart and me. Not again. Not this time. I will not be weak anymore.

My feet take me back, determined, to South Gate, but when I emerge into the sunlight of the main road, my ears catch the sound of lawguard footsteps approaching. They pause just behind me, and a lawguard calls out, “Lady Zera?”

Did Lucien order them down on me? No. He’s fast but not that fast, and he wouldn’t risk revealing his identity as Whisper. I turn to face the lawguards—an astonishing number of them, at least a dozen, and six of them in the back are royal celeon lawguards.

“Yes?” I ask innocently.

“His Majesty the king has requested your presence in the throne room.”

Gooseflesh crawls across my arms. It’s time, then, for the inquiry into Gavik’s murder.

The sick feeling in my stomach intensifies, but I keep my posture tall as I sigh. “Very well. Lead the way, gentlemen.”

To my surprise, the lawguards flank me, separate, and then close in, the two halves compressing around me in a protective—and inescapable—formation. As they march collectively forward and I walk in the center of the iron flower, we pass Lucien’s shadowed lurking place near the hat shop.

I can feel eyes following me, two obsidian needles prickling into my skin, the air ringing with the words I can’t say to him.

I’ve learned, Your Highness, that it is easier to hate than it is to love.

12

12

A Fire
made Real

The throne room isn’t nearly as intimidating as it used to be.

This, I presume, is what it means to grow up, to stop being afraid of things that used to terrify you.

As the lawguards lead me through the stained glass beauty of the Hall of Time, my body starts to tingle with the familiar court-related anxiety, but I breathe deep and let it pass me by. I have nothing to lose anymore. I’ve pushed Lucien away. Fione and Malachite’s friendship is long buried. All I have is my heart to hold on to, and that makes everything so much simpler.

lonelier than ever.