‘A fine time to tell me.’

‘I’m glad I didn’t think of it. The worst thing is never to grow up. I see it all around. I see children in every house. Look there, that’s Leonora’s house, poor woman. And here’s where those two old maids live, and their Green Machine. Children, children without love. And over there, take a look. There’s the ravine. The Lonely One. There’s a life for you, there’s a child in a man’s body. That’s the ticket. You could make Lonely Ones of them all, given time and patience. You used the wrong strategy. Don’t force people to grow. Baby them. Teach them to nurse their grievances and grow their private poison gardens. Little patches of hate and prejudice. If you wanted them unhappy, how much better to say, “Revolt, I’m with you, charge! Ignorance, I’m for you! Down with the slob and the swine forever!”’

‘Don’t rub it in. I don’t hate them anymore, anyway. What a strange afternoon, how odd. There I was, in his face. There I was, in love with the girl. It was as if time had never passed. I saw Liza again.’

‘It’s still possible, of course, you can reverse the process. The child is in us all. It’s not hard to keep the child locked there forever. Give it another try.’

‘No, I’m done with it. I’m done with wars. Let them go. If they can earn a better life than I did, let them earn it. I wouldn’t be so cruel as to wish them my life now. I was in his face, remember, and I saw her. God, what a beautiful face! Suddenly I felt so young. Now, turn me around and roll me home. I want to think about the next year or so. I’ll have to start figuring.’

‘Yes, Ebenezer.’

‘No, not Ebenezer, not Scrooge. I’m not anything. I haven’t decided to be anything. You can’t be anything that quickly. All I know is I’m not quite the same. I’ve got to figure what I want to be.’

‘You could give to charity.’

‘You know me better than that.’

‘You’ve got a brother.’

‘Lives in California.’

‘How long’s it been since you’ve seen him?’

‘Oh, God, thirty years.’

‘He has children, right?’

‘Yes, I think so. Two girls and a boy. Grown now. Got children of their own.’

‘You could write a letter.’

‘What kind?’

‘Invite them for a visit. You’ve got a big house. And one of those children, God help them, might seem like you. It struck me, if you can’t have any private sense of destiny, immortality, you name it – you could get it secondhand from your brother’s house. Seems to me you’d want to connect up with a thing like that.’

‘Foolish.’