‘Burden of proof,’ said Charlie. ‘The girls told me that old lady Bentley showed some pictures, junk and stuff, which didn’t prove nothin’. Fact is, when you think on it, fellas, none of these old ginks look like they were ever young.’

‘Why didn’t you think of that, Doug?’ said Tom.

‘Why don’t you shut up?’ said Douglas.

‘I guess this makes me a lieutenant,’ said Charlie.

‘You just moved up to sergeant yesterday!’

Charlie stared hard at Douglas for a long moment.

‘Okay, okay, you’re a lieutenant,’ said Douglas.

‘Thanks,’ said Charlie. ‘What’ll we do about my sister? She wants to be part of our army – a special spy.’

‘To heck with her!’

‘You got to admit that’s great secret stuff she turned in.’

‘Boy, Charlie, you sure think of things,’ said Tom. ‘Doug, why don’t you think of things?’

‘Darn it!’ cried Douglas. ‘Whose idea was the graveyard tour, the candy, the food, the chess pieces, all that?’

‘Hold on,’ said Tom. ‘The graveyard tour, I said that. The candy, yeah, was yours, but I gotta tell ya, the food experiment was a failure. Heck, you haven’t said anything new in a coupla hours. And all the chessboards are full of chess pieces again and those old men are busy pushing the pieces – us – around. Any moment now we’ll feel ourselves grabbed and moved and we won’t be able to live our own lives anymore.’

Douglas could feel Charlie and Tom creeping up on him, taking the war out of his hands like a ripe plum. Private, corporal, sergeant, lieutenant. Today, lieutenant; tomorrow captain. And the day after?

‘It’s not just ideas that count.’ Douglas wiped his brow. ‘It’s how you stick ’em together. Take this fact of Charlie’s – it’s secondhand. Heck, girls thought of it first!’

Everybody’s eyebrows went up.

Charlie’s face fell.

‘And anyway,’ Douglas went on, ‘I’m puttin’ ideas together for a real bang–up revelation.’

They all looked at him, waiting.

‘Okay, Doug, go on,’ said Charlie.

Douglas shut his eyes. ‘And the revelation is: Since old people don’t look like they were ever kids, they never were! So they’re not humans at all!’

‘What are they, Doug?’

‘Another race!’

Everybody sat, stunned by the vast sunburst caused by this explosion, this incredible revelation. It rained upon them in fire and flames.

‘Yes, another race,’ said Douglas. ‘Aliens. Evil. And we, we’re the slaves they keep for nefarious odd jobs and punishments!’

Everybody melted with the after–effects of this announcement.

Charlie stood up solemnly and announced: ‘Doug, old pal, see this beanie on my head? I’m taking my beanie off to you!’ Charlie raised his beanie to applause and laughter.

They all smiled at Doug, their general, their leader, who took out his pocketknife and casually started a philosophical game of one–finger mumblety–peg.