I pulled away from Fang. Even this was being ruined.

“They’re okay,” said Fang, bending his head again.

A second later I nearly jumped out of my skin, though. “Oh, Fang, you’re so haaandsooome,” I heard. It sounded like me — standing right next to me.

That was Gazzy, doing one of his absolutely perfect impersonations. He also had a gift for throwing his voice.

“Max! Let me take you away from all this! My darling!” If I hadn’t been holding Fang — and also hadn’t known that he would never say something that corny — I would have sworn it was him. Cackling laughter.

Fang and I leaned our foreheads against each other.

“Whoa — watch it!” There was a loud crash, and I practically pushed Fang into the wall. Yanking the door open, I strode down the hall.

“What’s going on out here?” I demanded, hands on hips.

“Nothing,” Gazzy said, smirking. “What’s going on in there?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and my face burned. Then I saw it: a pile of broken dishes and leftover food all over the floor.

“Who did this?”

“It was me,” Gazzy said in Nudge’s voice.

“Hey!” she said. “They were wrestling.” “You’re supposed to be studying,” I snapped.

“Oh, while you get to make kissy-face with Fang in the bathroom?” Iggy sneered. “I don’t think so.”

I was so mortified I was speechless for a second. Then I stamped my foot and said, “Get back to your books!” Which was, of course, a huge mistake.

Chapter 29

29

THEY JUST STARED at me for a moment, then Iggy’s face contorted into anger. He yanked off his iPod earphones and threw the whole thing across the room. “I can’t take it anymore!”

“Hey!” I said sharply. “Those are expensive!”

“I can’t help it!” he shouted. “I’ve been listening to how the Roman Empire fell, and all I can say is, it didn’t fall nearly fast enough!”

“You’re, like, totally sucking the fun out of the first kind-of vacation we’ve had in ages and ages!” Gazzy whined, his arms crossed.

Even Nudge, my peacemaker, chimed in. “I listened to an hour of French history this morning, and I thought my head was going to explode,” she said. “It’s just, army this, invader that, conquering whatever. We have to learn, and I love learning things, but there has to be a better way. Like at a school!”

I was shocked — Nudge had always been my most loyal supporter.

Well, I wasn’t going to stand for this. I was the flock leader! I was going to restructure our lesson plans, I was going to start issuing demerits or other teachery things, I was going to …

I was going to stop being such a hard nose.