I texted her today when I was looking at all this shit being like: Yo, are you okay? A lot of nasty shit’s being said about you.

And Mandy was like: Oh, is there? She hadn’t even heard about it.

I explained to her what people were saying, and I was like: Fuck these people, man. They’re just jealous. And Mandy didn’t even say anything. She just sent me this article with the headline: “Greenland Is Burning.” And I clicked on it, and it was about how, for the first time ever, Greenland has been having these uncontrollable forest fires because the permafrost that used to cover the ground there has melted away, and now they’re finding out that what’s been underneath it this whole time is peat—basically, just like, pure decayed vegetable matter: pure CO₂. According to the article, the fires have been burning for weeks, and no one knows how to put them out. Instead of spreading around like regular wildfires, they just burn straight into the ground.

I think I finally figured out the dad moment in the video game, by the way.

I was driving through Iowa with Deez this afternoon—he hopped on the tour for a few nights in Chicago and Cincinnati, and now we’re heading to a show in Des Moines before we hop on a plane again and chill out for a few days in L.A.—and Deez was getting blazed as we were passing through this giant field of cows—like, legitimately, thousands of cows on either side of the highway—and I was looking out the window, and it dawned on me:

I know what would’ve happened if I found my dad before he killed himself.

I know what would’ve happened if I busted down the door to the old house and found him in my room with the gun in his mouth and his finger on the trigger.

I know what would’ve happened if I screamed: Dad, stop! Or if I pulled out my guitar and started to play something for him.

I know.

He would’ve looked at me, and he would’ve smiled, and he would’ve gone ahead and pulled the trigger anyway.

I mean, actually, me being there might’ve made the whole thing better for him—it might’ve made the gesture even more complete.

And so there’s really no point in imagining the whole scenario.

Actually, I’m kind of starting to doubt the whole video game if I’m being honest. Not just because it keeps getting more and more expensive and not just because it’s probably gonna look like shit when it’s finished, but I guess it’s just starting to feel ridiculous to imagine any sort of alternative to the way things are. I’ve just started to feel like maybe everyone could only ever be exactly who they turned out to be. Maybe that’s just some law of the universe.

I was always gonna be me, and you were always gonna be you, and my dad was always gonna be my dad, and Mandy was always gonna be Mandy, and the guys who did that shit at her concert were always gonna be the guys who did that shit at her concert, and my mom was always gonna be my mom, and Bob was always gonna be Bob, and Patrick and Curt and Mo were always gonna be Patrick and Curt and Mo, and Deez was always gonna be Deez, and Trick was always gonna be Trick, and Chris Jeffries was always gonna be Chris Jeffries, and Oddvar was always gonna be Oddvar.