When I talked to her about it, she sounded so relieved, you know? I’ve always kind of felt with Mandy like there was this giant weight on her—like there was some deep sadness or like there was something she was holding down in the bottom of her stomach—but this was the first time I talked to her where like, all of that was gone, you know? She felt a thousand pounds lighter.

I asked her if she thought she would get back into the game once she was done with school, and she was like: I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.

Obviously, like, her manager is freaking out and her label is freaking out, and they’re telling her it’s this enormous mistake and that if she drops out entirely for four years, it’s gonna be really hard for her to get back into it, but Mandy just doesn’t give a fuck.

She was just like: That’s literally the farthest thing from my mind right now. LOL.

And I really didn’t want to be this guy—I support Mandy one hundred percent in whatever she thinks is right for her life—but I just couldn’t help saying to her, like: You realize no matter what school you go to, no matter how hard you try to get out of the game, people are gonna be following you around everywhere you go and asking for your autograph and taking pictures of you in class, right?

And Mandy was like: Maybe for the first semester or two. They’ll get over it eventually.

And I was like: But what about your roommate? What if she’s some crazy person, and you wake up in the middle of the night and she’s just like, staring at you, you know? Or live-streaming you sleeping?

And Mandy was like: I’m sure whatever she’s studying will be more interesting than me.

And I was like: But you realize that whatever you end up doing, whatever kind of life you try to lead, to most people in the world, you’re always just gonna be Mandy, right?

And Mandy was like: Most people in the world live on less than two dollars and fifty cents a day. They don’t give a shit who “Mandy” is.

And I was like: But a LOT of people do.

And Mandy was like: No. They’ve been TOLD they do. They’ve CONVINCED themselves that they do. But the only reason they care about “Mandy” is that the rest of their world is falling apart. “Mandy” is the last little corner of public space where everything appears to be operating normally. “Mandy” is the last little broom closet in the whole exploding factory where people can go and pretend like everything’s all right. But everything’s not all right. Everything is definitely not all right.

And I was like: Still, it’d be a shame if you quit.

And Mandy just laughed at me, and she was like: Why?

And I was like: Because you can SING. You can really sing.