And I guess Chris still sort of blames me for all of it. Like, I guess he still has some sort of deep resentment toward me, because I disturbed his peaceful retirement and I woke up this sleeping devil and brought him back out into the limelight, but, like, how the fuck was I supposed to know, you know? How the fuck was I supposed to predict that Chris would turn into a monster? I read in an interview he did somewhere that he wishes he’d never recorded Roses and Mud in the first place because it gave me all of this respect and credibility, and like, all it did for him was just fuck up his plan of getting out of the game before he became an embarrassment. And he’s not totally wrong about all that, but that shit is on him, you know? You can’t go around blaming other people for your shortcomings. If you do that, you’re never gonna actually look at yourself in the mirror and be like: What’s going on with me? Who AM I?

But I don’t know. Maybe there’s just something wrong with that whole generation. Like, maybe something really fucked up was happening with Chris and my dad and all of those people when they were growing up. I mean, my mom and Bob turned out okay, I guess, so it’s not like EVERYBODY that age is fucked up, but maybe something really crazy was happening in the universe at the time when they were born. Like, maybe a whole fucking galaxy got destroyed like, a million light-years away, and so everyone who was born around that time got affected in some crazy way and they don’t even know it. I don’t know. I’d have to ask Bob how something like that would even work.

#48—Right torso. This is my baby brother’s birth date next to a bowl of spaghetti. That’s his favorite food right now.

#36—Left chest. This is the plasma gun you get once you reach level 37 in Urban Warrior. I know it seems silly, but if you play U.W., you know: That’s a HUGE fucking moment.

#13—Upper left cheek. This little guy is modeled after the necklace my mom made for me. Optimus was telling me that unless the person who’s asking for it is famous or a criminal—like, unless Optimus is pretty confident they won’t ever have to go on a job interview again—he won’t do any tattoos above the shirt collar. Apparently, the only people who are allowed to have face tattoos are celebrities and gangsters. LOL.

#60—Right shoulder. This is Curt, Patrick, and Mo as the Three Stooges. It was Mo’s idea.

#74—Lower left leg. BEMYBABY1567. This was my gamer tag before I had to change it. I wanted it to just be BEMYBABY, but that was already taken.

Get this:

Mandy just told me she’s quitting music.

Seriously!

I don’t know if it’s public yet, so I’ll check with her before I publish anything, but we had lunch yesterday in Chicago, and apparently, over the last couple months, she’s been studying with a bunch of tutors and taking the SAT, and she applied to a bunch of different colleges, and she just found out that she got into a bunch of them. She was only in Chicago because she got into a bunch of schools there and she was going to all these admitted students events.