“I still have it.”

I straightened in my chair. “You do?”

“Of course. I just couldn’t bear to look at it every day. It’s in my dresser drawer in the bedroom.”

For whatever reason, that little nugget of information filled me with relief. It made me happy to know that my mom hadn’t thrown everything in the trash, the way she had donated all of my dad’s things to charity before the dust settled. I had known it was hard for her to be surrounded by his memory, but it was hard for me to watch them all get handed out to strangers.

“I came here to tell you that I have plans to go away. I’m going to travel for the next year”—she smiled wistfully—“if not longer.”

“A year?” I said through my disbelief.

“Or more,” she added again for clarification.

My body tensed. I loved my mother, and while I enjoyed having my own space, the idea of not seeing her for a year or longer had me spiraling a bit. I had never, in my entire life, gone more than three days without seeing her.

“Yes. But I can’t in good conscience leave if—” she started, but I cut her off.

I knew exactly what she was going to say. “I’ve been running the company for five years, Mom. I’ve got this. Nothing will happen to our legacy or our employees or our clients. I promise you that.”

“Joseph, you think I’m actually worried about you running the company?” She sounded almost offended.

My breath caught in my throat. “If it’s not that, then what are you worried about?” I stood up from the couch and made my way back over to my desk. I was more comfortable there, felt more in command.

“You. You’re an amazing CEO. You’ve far exceeded my hopes for the company.”

“But?”

“But ...” Her eyes narrowed—she was clearly irritated because I’d interrupted her twice already. “Life isn’t just about work.”

I stopped myself from growling out loud in frustration and annoyance. We’d had this conversation one too many times in the past, and I’d thought I’d stopped them from happening again. I was too busy for love and all the things that falling for a woman required.

Women needed the kind of time and attention I wasn’t ready or willing to give. Take into account how hard it was for me to actually meet someone wife-worthy in the first place. Considering I was always here or at corporate functions, and you had the second problem. Plus, to be honest, I had no interest in relationships at this point in my life. That didn’t mean that I didn’t fuck. I did. But it was with women who knew we had no future and who had zero expectations from me. Kind of women versions of myself.

Dating, marriage, kids were all something I wanted and saw for myself but further down the road.

My mother knew that, but it still didn’t stop her from lecturing me. “You need a partner. You need a teammate. I don’t want you to be alone forever. This company won’t keep you warm at night. It won’t listen to your fears, or grow old with you, or share meals, take care of you, or love you back.”