All he knew was agony. Why had he stayed to watch? The image of them fucking would haunt him the rest of his life. Death would not erase it. The galaxy would collapse into a massive black hole and it would remain. His Amy on top of that asshole. Kathy waited for him to respond.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“That’s not true. You do know what you have to do. But you’re afraid to do it because you’re afraid of losing her. Let me tell you something, you have already lost her. In fact, you never had her to begin with. She’s an obsession, she’s not a love. Simon, there’s a difference. Love brings happiness. She just brings pain.”

He struggled. “If I didn’t love her, it wouldn’t hurt.”

“All right, say you’re right. What difference does it make? Stay with her and you’ll suffer. She wants you to suffer. She’s a small person. It makes her feel big to see a great man like you weep.”

“You haven’t even met her.”

“I don’t need to meet her! I just have to look at you. She’s killing you. What happened tonight?”

He shook his head. “I can’t talk about it.”

Kathy stood and paced. “Then fuck you both. You want to throw away your life on a little shit like her, you go ahead and do it.”

He looked at her in wonder. “Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t care, that’s my point. You want to behave like an idiot, you do it on your own time. I don’t need this shit.”

He stood. “I have to deal with it in my own way.”

She stopped him again. “No. You can’t go. You can’t be alone tonight.”

“But Jimmy …”

“Barbara will take care of Jimmy.” She hugged him and buried her face in his chest. “Stay here tonight.”

“Kathy?”

She looked up at him. “You can sleep in my bed beside me. I won’t touch you, I swear. You take the Percocet this time. The pain will recede, believe me. It won’t vanish but it will feel like it’s happening to someone else. It will help you fall asleep. Then, in the morning, you can figure out what to do.”

“I don’t like to take drugs.”

“You don’t like to get fucked in the ass either. But it’s already happened. Take two pills if you need them to sleep.” She reached up and kissed him on the lips. “Whatever gets you through the night.”

It was good to hold her. He kissed her back.

“Thank you,” he said.