He did not want her to see him in this condition. But he did not see how he could escape her. Already she was coming up the stairs to meet him. Wearing torn blue jeans and a gray sweater, her blond hair loose down her back, she looked like the summer sun. He wiped at his face and felt half-dried tears. He was having trouble breathing. He was back in the place where he had been when he had first caught Amy with David. In a place where only bad things were possible. Kathy smiled at him but then lost it as she came near. He tried to put on a brave front but she saw right through it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked when she reached him.

“Nothing. Had a rough night. Did you just get back?”

“Fuck that. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Where did you go?”

Kathy took him by the arm. “You’re coming to my place. We have to talk.”

“I have to pick up Jimmy from Barbara.”

“I’ll call her. She can watch Jimmy a little longer.”

Minutes later he sat on her couch beside her. He didn’t know what to say. He could not tell her the truth, yet he hated to lie. She was a good person, she cared about him—without wanting anything in return. He was so tired of all the lies and cheating in the world. He wished he could open his heart to her completely. She had already called Barbara. The girl said she would be happy to watch Jimmy all night, at twenty an hour.

“Something happened with Amy,” Kathy said.

Matt nodded reluctantly. “You could say that.”

Kathy took his hand and squeezed it. “Did you two have a fight?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly.”

She stared for the longest time. “You caught her with someone else.”

He desperately wanted to deny it. He feared if he opened up even slightly he would crack all the way. He would burst out crying, and that was one thing he had never done in front of anyone since the nightmare had started over a year ago. But Kathy’s eyes were such a deep blue—twin seas he wished he could dive into and disappear. He did not answer right away and then he did not have to because she already understood.

“That whore!” Kathy swore.

“It’s not the way you think.”

“It is! The details don’t matter. I see it in your face. She betrayed you before and she’s betrayed you again.”

He tried to stand. “I’m tired. I better go.”

She grabbed his arm and pulled him down. Kissing his hand, she pressed it to the side of her face. Her cheek was damp—tears shed for him, he could not believe anyone would bother.

“Simon,” she said, almost pleading. “Let her go. Take Jimmy and leave. She’s not worth it.”