Hope fades. It sounds as if the FBI no longer believes we’ll be contacted by the kidnappers. Amy and David spoke to them yesterday and the woman in charge of the investigation, Agent Bane, said it was unlikely to receive a ransom demand after such a long lapse of time. I think the FBI has known this for a while, but to have it confirmed is devastating. Amy has turned into a wraith. You know, she used to weigh only a hundred and five pounds. Well, she has lost fifteen of that If this keeps up she’ll have to be put in a hospital.

What can I say? I miss my grandson. I miss my daughter. I miss Matt. I cannot be free of the idea that if your son had not died, all this pain would have been avoided. I think of myself as a religious man, but I catch myself cursing God. There is no justice in this world. David should have gone in that water. Matt should be with us now.

Sorry, Nancy, I rave. I better go.

Yours, John

Matt found it interesting how Amy’s father made a connection between his death and the kidnapping. The man had always been sensitive. It was as if Amy’s dad had a psychic antenna for the good and evil in people. Matt felt awful about the pain the man was going through. The guilt was not erased by the agony Amy was experiencing. However, there was only so much guilt he could allow himself to feel and stay sane.

There was good news. Cindy had a new boyfriend. His ex-girlfriend had written his mother yesterday about the guy. He was a handsome lawyer from a rich Southern family. Matt honestly wished her the best. He had not missed her as much as he imagined he would. In fact, he had not missed her at all. That was the problem with obsession. It lumped every small good in life into one indistinguishable mass of nothing.

There was a knock on his trailer door. Matt looked up and saw Lupe Chavez outside the window, Jimmy’s eighteen-year-old nanny. He had found her in a coffee shop with a girlfriend two days after he had taken Jimmy. Both girls were from Guatemala, and desperate for jobs. When it came to finding employment, Lupe had distinct advantages over her friend. Her English was excellent and she projected a competence beyond her years. He occasionally worried about her sharp mind. A simple girl from a remote village would have been a better choice to care for a kidnapped child. But he liked Lupe, and he worried about leaving Jimmy in the hands of a simpleton.