His deepest fears and hopes had not materialized. His revenge had brought no final peace, but it had not hurt, either. On a hypothetical scale of joy and sorrow, he was happier now than before he had wounded Amy. The righteous were mistaken—if revenge was not sweet, it at least had flavor.

However, when he thought of Amy crying at night because of her lost child, he wept with her. He could feel the walls closing in on her as the days passed. She would think the worst; her baby dead and buried. She could not imagine that the shadow she had cast over Matt Connor’s life had returned as an avenging angel.

Yet, sometimes, late at night, when he stood over Jimmy, he felt like he would give his life to protect the child. He imagined he was a much better father than David.

The e-mails were interesting. While Jimmy slept peacefully not four feet from his desk, Matt flipped through his favorites. It was thirty-three days since he had taken the child.

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for staying on the phone with me so long the other night. I’m sorry I broke down and wept like a fool, somehow I couldn’t help myself. The nights are the worst. Often, I swear, I hear my grandson crying outside my door. Several times I have gotten up from bed to check-the sound is so real. But, alas, Jimmy is never there.

Amy has been destroyed. Nothing I say can console her. She has this idea in her head that God is punishing her for what she did to Matt. I tell her that is nonsense, that this tragedy would have been the last thing Matt would have wished upon her. But she’s in a dark place and there’s no reaching her.

Her husband is no help. The looks he gives her–I think he believes she took Jimmy and buried him somewhere. David is a sick man. I wish he’d get out of our lives.

Nancy, how can we live? You lost a son and I lost a grandson. Such a cruel world, this one we are cursed to live in. It is only the love of people like you—and the memory of men like Matt–that make it bearable. My prayers are with you, and I hope yours remain with me.

Yours, John

The next one had come the previous week.

Dear Nancy,