‘I’m just—’ Her voice choked, and she told herself very firmly that she would not, absolutely would not cry. She cleared her throat. ‘My professor and I are working on the thing I brought. You know? But it’s not like it was back home. I feel as if I can’t really trust anyone here. I don’t know if anyone has my back. There’s Liz, but she’s turned out to be a total flake; honestly, I don’t even know if I like her at all any more – I mean, I feel for her, she’s had a rough time of it and all, but we’re nothing alike, Shane. Nothing. My professor – I don’t even know. I don’t know if I can trust her or not. Sometimes I know I can, and then …’

‘So, really, no different than your last job, right?’

She laughed a little, but it felt wretched. ‘And I don’t really know anybody, and the people I do know, the people I want to fit in with – I just don’t, and I can’t. What’s worse is … I don’t matter here, Shane. I feel like I just don’t matter. Stupid, right?’

‘No,’ he said. He sounded so gentle it broke her heart. ‘It’s how most people feel most of the time, Claire. You’ve grown up being special, and this is how most people live their lives … alone. On their own. Unnoticed. And they get used to that feeling. It’s just new for you.’

‘Yeah,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t complain. That’s really selfish and I don’t mean it that way, I don’t …’

‘Shhh.’ The breathy sound he made gave her chills, and she curled up tight under the covers, imagining the warmth of him next to her, imagining his hands sliding down her arms. Comforting and sweet and tender, and safe. So safe. It was hard to think he was so very far away when she needed him so much. And he needed her. She could feel it coming out of the phone like a fever heat. ‘Don’t do that. You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met, Claire. You teach me every day how to be a little bit better. And I miss you, you know that? I can’t stand not seeing you, not touching you …’ His voice was soft, and it was shaking, and she felt shivers now in deep, secret places. ‘I love everything about you. Did I tell you that before? Everything.’

She managed, somehow, a fragile little laugh. ‘You’ve had a concussion for sure.’

‘No, I mean it. Claire, I – look, my life is one long series of screw-ups and bad decisions, and I know that. I own that. But you … I just want you to be happy. And it cuts me when you’re not.’

‘I’m happy with you,’ she whispered, very very quietly. ‘And I love you. Leaving Morganville wasn’t about you, you know that. It was about me. And maybe I’m finding out that all these dreams I had … maybe they’re not really what I want after all.’