SK: Well, well, good game. Petey looked like Petey and Roy Halladay surely looked like he was saying “FUCK! SHIT!!” after the Ortiz home run in the sixth. On the replay, too. So the Red Sox climb to .500 for the third time in the young season. Now, for the really interesting question—since most of us watch these things on TV (hell, I’m 1000 miles from Fenway, give or take a few), who pays the freight? Mostly Dad-oriented companies, as you might guess, but one of the heavy-rotation sponsors, McDonald’s, features hungry ladies leaving a baby shower and booking straight for Mickey D’s, where they gobble turkey clubs on pita bread. And maybe that’s not so strange; I watched tonight with my eighty-year-old mother-in-law, who went directly from the BoSox game upstairs to Maine-Denver Frozen Four hockey downstairs.

Also, for your consideration, the following big-league sponsors:

Tweeter (“Just sit back and enjoy”)

Dunkin’ Donuts (Curt Schilling with a Walkman, learning to speak New England)

Foxwoods Casino (“The wonder of it all”)

Geico Insurance (“Good news, your rap sucks but I saved a bundle”)

Xtra Mart (“Fuel up on Brewboy coffee”)

SBC Phone Service (“Old farts, please phone home”)

Friendly’s Restaurants (“Sorry, Dad, no sports car for you”)

TD Waterhouse (“Know your investment risk”)

Cool TV (i.e., “Watch more Boston Bruins hockey”)

Funny Bears Drink Pepsi Cola

Volvo (“Official car of the Boston Red Sox”)

Camry, the Car of Caring Dads

Ricoh Color Printers (“Because, face it, black and white sucks”)

Dunkin’ Donuts again (Curt again: “Wicked haaa-aaaad”)

Albert Pujols for DirecTV (“Mah bat iss alwaysss talkun to me…” Seek help, Albert, seek help)

AFLAC, the Anthrax Duck

Interestingly enough, no beer ads until after 9 P.M., when they come in a suds…er, flood. And goodness, are they ever suggesting young men should drink a lot, especially the Coors Light ads.

Also, Foxwoods advertises a lot. The strong suggestion of the ads being that “the wonder of it all” involves pulling a great many chrome-plated handles a great many times.

I thought you—and possibly TV-watching fans everywhere—should know these things. Now, all together: AAAAAFFFFLACK!

P.S. Did you see Johnny’s Cavemen? Are they the perfect Bleacher Creatures or what?

SO: Speaking of advertising, for the first time the dugouts are plastered with Ford ovals—like the Jays’ wallpapered with Canadian Tire ads.

I saw Damon’s Disciples before, during and after the game. A shame Johnny didn’t play. Crespo hustled (two infield hits) and played center passably. Let’s hope Millar’s days roaming Trot’s yard are over.

April 11th