And maybe that giant skeletal Coke bottle in left field.

24

So what the heck does that make me and O’Nan?

25

Everyone except Warren Oates has played first base for the Red Sox this year. Manager Francona had Oates down for it one night, but had to scratch him when he found out that Oates had died some time ago.

26

Nor has it hurt that Johnny Damon is off to what may be a career year at the plate.

27

The “almost” qualification is easily explained. Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz are playing tonight. I don’t want either of them hurt, as Pedro Martinez almost certainly hurt his arm by throwing too hard in the 1999 All-Star Game.

28

The Los Angeles Dodgers were also 48-38 at the break, good enough to lead the NL West by half a game.

29

On the replay Varitek appears to be saying either “Take your fucking base” or “Get the fuck to first base.”

30

Mientkiewicz did his best to make Epstein look like a genius in his first game as a Red Sox, going 2 for 4, both singles. The second hit came in the top of the ninth against Minnesota—the only pro baseball team he’d ever played for until this evening—in a game which the Twins led by a score of 5–4. He got to second base—into scoring position, in other words—before Kevin Youkilis struck out to end the game. The other new Boston players should join the club tomorrow.

31

But the great thing about the wild card—what I absolutely love about it—is that it is, by its very nature, a slippery beast. If Oakland slides into first place in the AL West—hey, presto!—the Red Sox are wild-card-competitive again, only against a different team. There are baseball purists who hate the innovation for this very reason, but they would be folks who, for the most part, haven’t been stuck with George Steinbrenner’s bloated wallet for the last twelve years or so.

32

The decision to wave Roberts home seemed out of character for the usually cautious Sveum and more like his predecessor, Wendell Kim, known to the Fenway Faithful as “Send ’Em In” Kim.

33

Haven’t seen him at Fenway all year.

34

In this context it does not hurt to remind ourselves that Globe ownership, New York Times ownership, and Red Sox ownership all overlap. In other words, they’re all in it together. Time to put the tinfoil on the windows, line our baseball caps with lead, and check our phones for radioactive bugs.

35

How ugly? He was the first pitcher in seventy years to surrender six home runs and still get the win. The Tigers hit seven long taters in all, the last coming off reliever Mike Timlin. The Red Sox hit three, one from David Ortiz and two from Kevin Youkilis.

36