“You’ll take it to them just like this, it is the customary way,” he said striking a fatherly pose as he promptly stuffed the file under my arm. I was already up on my feet. Standing there with that file under my left arm, holding “all the power, majesty and mystery of the state,” my entire body felt completely under its influence. Holding that file, I could almost feel the strength of the state and its warm compassion seeping into the marrow of my bones.

I walked down to the floor below. Nurse Şermin, health director Kudret, custodian Kerim, martial arts aficionado and lab technician Serkan and environmentalist Abuzer were all standing together, looking at me. On their faces I remember there was a slight twitching, something between a grin and a nervous smile.

“Goodbye doctor, and may it come easy. But heavens do be careful with that file,” they said.

Leaving the annex of the state hospital at the end of the only street in town I started gravely on my way. At one point I reluctantly turned around to see the entire staff looking out a window, waving, while Ertan was watching me from a window in his office, as still as a statue.

Now I was a state official, a public servant. The file I pressed tightly under my arm was the first milestone on my road to a reliable future.

When Pharmacist Arif, who was drinking tea outside the Şifa Pharmacy with a few buddies from the surrounding villages, saw me he paused for a moment then asked over his shoulder, “doctor, what’s up? Where to?” I had met him the night before in the meyhane.

“To the kaymakamlık,” I answered with confidence. “I’m taking over my documents.”

“Ha!” said pharmacist Arif.

“They gave you your file. Great news! But do be careful, your start report is very important. You mustn’t drop it.”

With a knowing nod, I went on.

I arrived at the government mansion that sat there at the entrance of town like an unshapely bulk. The kaymakamlık was on the fifth floor, the top floor of the building. Keeping a tight grip on my file, I hurried up the stairs. My left arm was now aching from pressing down on it so hard and the sweat from my armpit had slightly moistened its black cover. For a moment I wondered if my sweat had actually sullied my start report and I felt a jolt of remorse but I quickly realized I was blowing things out of proportion and I banished the thought.