Chapters (38)
- Cover
- Half Title
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Contents
- Preface
- 1 Kurban:
- 2 I Am an Orphan, Press Me to Your Chest
- 3 What Has That Got to Do with It, Dad!
- 4 I Am Grown Up, Dad
- 5 The Weight of Your Coat
- 6 “We’ll Ask Someone for Our Name, and She’ll Tell Us”
- 7 The Seal
- 8 Whose Blood Is That on the Photo?
- 9 The Smell of Bread or Blood?
- 10 What’s Left for Us
- 11 A Drop of Water
- 12 Just Let Go
- 13 Turkey at the End of Its Rope
- 14 Hearts in the Palms of Our Hands
- 15 The Burnt Smell Inside Us
- 16 The Quilt
- 17 Where Are Our Dead?
- 18 Mothers Sniff Out Their Lambs
- 19 The Soul of a Word
- 20 Three Kinds of Truth and Us
- 21 The Country Doctor
- 22 The File Under My Arm
- 23 The Country of the Forgotten Dead
- 24 The Coming of the Fiancée
- 25 The Lie
- 26 Why These Scars?
- 27 The Municipality Man Who Drew a Gun
- 28 Tell All Your Friends, I learned How to Die
- 29 God Willing, He Is Dead
- 30 Come Along, Let’s Start off by Saving Ourselves
- 31 A Whistle Out of Chestnut
- Glossary
“Girl, do I have any other choice? Everyone comes asking for money, more and more money. First it’s the president then the motherfucking contractors … And then the inspectors are hovering over me, watching my every move. We’ve got our head on the block so that everyone out there can have a good time. Not a soul has even asked, ‘What’s up Selami? Are you in a pinch?’ We have a snake up our ass and we’re trying to get it out when this brute comes over asking for his wages. I’m fed up with all already!”
Straightening out my sweater all scrunched up against my neck, I was thinking of my next move. Gülnaz looked strangely embarrassed and apologized.
“Doctor, please forgive us, this wasn’t supposed to happen,” she said or something like that.
Finally wresting myself from the spot, I whispered something like, “well I’ll just be going then,” and I slipped out of the room. Without making eye contact with anyone, I walked quietly back to the health clinic. Steeped in silence, I went on with my work without saying so much as a word to anyone. I was in a confused, crazed and meaningless state of mind. Despite it all, however, it seemed a feeling of “simplicity” had taken root in me, something I had never felt before. That evening I went to the City Club like I always did. Opening the door and stepping inside, I thought to myself, nothing at all about this place or the people here has changed. Indeed the only thing that has changed was me.
As I walked over to the Ziraat Bankası manager’s table, I saw Selami at the table beside him, drinking rakı with some of the contractors who were doing business with the municipality. He stood up when he saw me.
“Doctor, hocam, won’t you sit down with us?” he cried.
As if hypnotized, I walked over to his table.
Selami:
“Now you aren’t angry with us are you, doctor? We upset you a little today … But you shouldn’t hold it against us any more … Hah hah hah …” he said, laughing.
“Oh no, why would that be?” I mumbled. And for some time we looked each other in the eyes. Then he threw his arms around me with a sincerity I could have sworn was real. I just couldn’t decide what to do. Muttering something or other, I collapsed at the table where the Post Office manager was sitting and I ordered a rakı.
Selami turned back to the contractors and proceeded to tell them how I was an invaluable, first-class guy and how much he loved me, spittle spraying from his lips …
28 Tell All Your Friends, I learned How to Die
28
Tell All Your Friends, I learned
How to Die