A book that spans much of my lifetime feels like it also requires a lifetime of thanks, but I will do my best with the space I have. The idea for this book came out of my writing about trans memoirs while on staff at BuzzFeed News. Thanks to Shannon Keating for the assignment and Isaac Fitzgerald for his early encouragement, along with lovely colleagues Azeen Ghorayshi, Eleanor Kincaid, Julia Furlan, Sandy Allen, Anne Helen Petersen, Sarah Karlan, and Karolina Waclawiak.

A fellowship from Jack Jones Literary Arts gave me the time and encouragement to keep going. Huge thanks to Kima Jones and LaToya Watkins for making this possible, along with the contribution of an anonymous donor. Enormous thanks to the OG Jack Jones crew, especially Kat Chow for her invaluable feedback and Jenna Wortham, my great supporter and friend in all ways possible; I’m so lucky to have gotten lost in the woods with you.

Thank you to my writing group for their valuable emotional and intellectual support: Lilly Dancyger, Nina St. Pierre, Voichita Nachescu, Zaina Arafat, Kaitlin Ugolik, and especially dear friends Lewis Wallace, Tim Manley, and Kaye Toal. A magical “Don’t Write Alone” weekend from Catapult transformed my writing, thanks to Cal Morgan, Mira Jacob, Julie Buntin, and especially Porochista Khakpour, who took away a decade’s worth of writing hurdles in a single hour; I’m so fortunate that you have since become my dear friend.

Much of this book was written while on self-imposed retreats in the Philippines and Guatemala. Thanks to the staff of Pyramid Guesthouse in Dumaguete, especially Leonor Cabigon, and thank you to the hotel staff at Laguna Lodge and La Fortuna in Atitlán, especially Jen Garcia, who kept me well-fed in both body and spirit.

Enormous thanks to my colleagues and former colleagues at them and Condé Nast for your friendship, insights, and snack breaks: J. P. Brammer, Cameron Bird, Kelly Bales, Aaamina Khan, Maria Tridas, James Clarizio, Tyler Ford, Sam Escobar, Samhita Mukhopadhyay, Chris Klimovski, Carolyn Kylstra, Michael Cuby, Lale Arikoglu, and especially my beloved favorite editor-turned-colleague Tyler Trykowski and dear Phillip Picardi, who has restored some of my faith in white male bosses, especially when they grow into friends.