Instead of doing work, I spent the rest of the afternoon drafting letters with pen and scrap paper for both Richard and Lenora. To him the focus was feeling cut out of the friendship I had built with both of them, how they would leave me out of their intimacy. I was harsher with Lenora, reminding her that she was doing what she explicitly said she wouldn’t do, that she was selfish and inconsiderate, that I didn’t know if our friendship could recover. I took the train home and started recopying the letters onto stationery, intending to mail them as soon as I was done, when Ralph returned to our apartment.

“Lenora and Richard got together,” I told him when he asked what I was doing.

“And you’re upset?”

“I’m telling them how I feel,” I replied, “about my two best friends cutting me out after Lenora specifically said she wouldn’t date him.”

“That’s not a promise she should have made.”

Ralph tried to reason with me. It was impossible for people to control who they fell for, and it wasn’t like Richard and I were in a relationship, so there was no real betrayal. I explained that I had introduced them, how I would see so much less of them now that they were together. He said that shouldn’t matter, that I should be happy two people I adore had found each other, and it was selfish of me to only focus on my own happiness.

“You don’t understand. They’re totally wrong for each other.”

I saw Ralph’s expression freeze, the color drain from his face. “Oh my God you’re in love with him.”

“I am not in love with him!” I shouted as I stood up and went into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

Later, after I cried and, finding myself exhausted, slept for a while, Ralph came into the room and lay in bed with me. As we cuddled, I explained that I really wasn’t in love with Richard because it was still him, my partner, who I was in love with. There was no question in my mind that being with Ralph was the best thing that ever happened to me. In his arms, I understood how lucky I was to have him, and regardless of how close Richard and I were, it was unfair of me to limit his or Lenora’s chance of finding the same kind of happiness I had with Ralph. After my rush of emotion, I agreed with my partner that I shouldn’t send the letters, that I just needed time to adjust to the situation. I had no doubt I loved Ralph, but as I drifted off to sleep, I did wonder if it was possible to be in love with two people.