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Chapters (27)
  1. Dedication
  2. Epigraphs
  3. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  4. Prologue
  5. PART ONE
  6. 1.
  7. 2.
  8. 3.
  9. 4.
  10. 5.
  11. 6.
  12. PART TWO
  13. 7.
  14. 8.
  15. 9.
  16. 10.
  17. 11.
  18. 12.
  19. PART THREE
  20. 13.
  21. 14.
  22. 15.
  23. 16.
  24. 17.
  25. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  26. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  27. What’s next onyour reading list?

I would have chosen somewhere less vocational than the New England School of Photography, which was geared toward commercial shooters, except I enrolled late and it was the only school with open slots I could find. We were to bring a processed roll of something we shot to our first class, where we got a crash course in color printing.

That was how I first got to know the other students, when their prints came out of the photo processor, a giant machine that emitted a steady hum and smelled sweetly of chemicals, like the printing presses I’d been around as a kid. I’d taken pictures of my inline skating club and started on a print of a guy who knelt awkwardly as he posed for me with his rollerblades on. I saw images of a mountain landscape, a bank lobby interior, a street performer, the kinds of photographs I expected. Except there was one print that kept catching my eye as it went through various versions, lighter and darker, redder and pinker. It was of two bald mannequin heads against a red background, with blank eyes that gave me the uncanny feeling they were decapitated. I leaned closer while another print of the image came out of the processor, and I noticed that the skin on those heads was crinkled, not like the smooth plastic I expected.

“I make them out of papier-mâché,” a girl said as she pulled the print out of the machine. Her hair was a vibrant red that verged on artificial, cut in a bob with bangs straight across her forehead, which might have felt severe except for the large eyes and plump face that made her look like a more childlike, happier version of the dolls she created.

After the instructor evaluated our photographs at the next class, he gave us a ten-minute summary of his life, from his Ohio upbringing to his marriage to a woman who wanted to return to her home city of Boston, which was how he had ended up working as a portrait photographer and teaching at the school the past twenty years. When it was the red-haired girl’s turn, she introduced herself as Lenora Mayer, a painter who had graduated from RISD the previous year and had since gotten more interested in photography because of how it rode that fine line between make-believe and reality. She grew up with hippie artist parents, her father a gentile and her mother a Jew, a culture that she deeply identified with, in Minneapolis of all places. She now lived in an artist loft in South Boston, a former shoe factory that was falling apart.