I nodded then, embarrassed, remembering his first instruction about keeping my towel around my waist. I wondered whether this was why Danny left abruptly, at the knowledge that I wasn’t playing by rules I didn’t understand in the first place. As I got to the sauna and didn’t find him there, I became convinced that I’d once again managed to fuck things up. I decided to clear my head in the shower, try to get over losing the only man there I wanted. There were going to be other occasions, other times. Yet I was also aware that the experience would have been significant, for reasons I couldn’t entirely name.

I got out of the shower and took another towel to dry off, then tried to find a receptacle for my old one. I padded over to the toilet and sink area, put the old towel in a bin, and looked in the mirror to find Danny behind me. I turned around, and he took my hand, pulled me into a bathroom stall, and leaned me against one wall as we kissed and I found myself licking his neck, his chest, his nipples, with a rapaciousness I didn’t know was in me, while he put his hand on my flank and firmly guided my body. His cock in my mouth unleashed a desire in me I didn’t think existed, a want that rose from his casual, effortless masculinity. I stopped him when he made a move for my cock, asked him to kiss me while I jerked myself off until I came. I didn’t know why I didn’t want to see his mouth on that body part, but I didn’t. There was something about it that would ruin the moment.

“Let’s go to your flat?” he asked.

“I’m at a hostel. It’s not private.”

“My bird’s at home. But she’s at her job tomorrow.”

We agreed to meet in front of the sauna the next day. In the locker area, I asked him if I should get his contact information in case something came up. Danny found a piece of scrap paper in his bag and scrawled a number on it, then pecked me on the lips before he walked out in his rain jacket and jeans.

I took the train to Waterloo station the next morning and walked across the bridge down to the sauna entrance. When Danny was fifteen minutes late, I began to pace back and forth so it didn’t seem like I was lurking. I wanted to call him but was afraid we would miss each other, but after forty minutes, I finally decided to look for a pay phone. I asked a passerby for help, and she told me the closest one was next to the Thames near the National Theatre.