★ Later, the events of that day hit him hard. He put the maneuver under his mind’s microscope, and he realized that the numbers didn’t compute. There was no way he could have recovered that airplane. It was physically impossible. The physics of the maneuver were such that it just wouldn’t work.

If that’s the way things are, he asked himself, why did it happen? Why was I allowed to live?

The answer wasn’t long in coming. What he’d just experienced out there over the North African desert was a message from God. Horner didn’t make a big issue of it, but he was a deeply religious man. God was saying to him, “Mister Fighter Pilot, you aren’t in charge of your life. I have a purpose for you, even though you don’t know what it is yet. So get on with your life and see what happens. And just remember: I’m the one in charge here. Any questions?”

It was as though God literally, physically, had kept his airplane from hitting the ground . . . at least that’s how he saw it. He had no other explanation that fit the facts.

After that Chuck Horner had changed fundamentally. Here is how he describes it:

Every day of my life after that event has been a gift. I was killed in the desert in North Africa. I’m dead. From then on I had no ambition in terms of what course my life was going to take. That was up to God to decide. I’ d go do the best I could. I’ d enjoy whatever promotions, pay, money that came my way. Anything that came my way I’d enjoy and use, but I wouldn’t live for it. I never wanted to be a general, for instance. I was proud when I made general; I was pleased; I liked the money; and I like people saying, “Yes sir,” “No sir,” and “You’re really good-looking today,” and all that. I loved all the lies and all that shit. Don’t get me wrong. But the fact that I made general is no big deal. It’s what God wanted me to do, not what I wanted to do. So I gave up me.

Now Christians talk about rebirth. Some piss me off when they do. They go around holier than thou. “Well, I’ve got the word now, because I’ve been reborn in Jesus.” Well, fine, okay. But if you really have all that, you don’t need to tell me, I’ ll know.

In my case I know. I was reborn. Why? He wanted me to do something. . . . What? I don’t know. He has never told me what He wanted me to do . . .