I should add that I’m amazed at the quality of the handwriting on this page—I would have expected it to be much smaller and more uneven. It’s actually fairly easy to read, which I find astonishing. I should also say that I’m not bothering to relax the muscles that don’t need to be tense while I’m writing, though I haven’t forgotten about that. Every day I pray to God for the strength and reason I’ll need in my determined pursuit of discipline in all these areas of my life. Ciao.

September 20

I hope I’m not interrupted during these exercises, though I can’t say I feel very optimistic. All right, I’ll begin by getting more settled in my chair, resting my feet comfortably on the floor and my left arm on the desk, trying to relax from the shoulder down. Next I focus my attention on my right hand, trying to sense the muscles that need to be active and relax the others, in the wrist, and now in the rest of the arm, and also from the shoulder. Now let’s think about the handwriting: I need to slow down the rhythm, which is currently too fast, and find the patience to form each letter as correctly as possible. I have trouble writing any more slowly than this, but

*

The asterisk indicates that I was indeed interrupted (a few hours ago), and now at almost one in the morning) I doubt I’ll be able to continue these exercises as determinedly as I began them. I’ll try to go on with the calligraphical part, at least, without worrying about relaxing my muscles; now I’m slowing downtrying to slow downthe rhythm of my writing and concentrating on each of the letters. I’m also trying to forget, as much as I can, about the coherence of what I’m saying. I’m thinking about each letter in turn—but everything I just wrote is in fact completely untrue; I’m still going too fast, far too fast, maybe because I can see I’m coming to the end of the page, which normally makes people hurry, as if hurrying could somehow increase the number of words that fit on a piece of paper. But tomorrow is another day.

September 22