In another of the dream’s story lines, my mother may not have been personally present, but it’s clear I was trying (literally) to “cut the cord.” I don’t know when or why, but I’d collected some very long ropes and made them into a single rope that reached across the street and into a building on the other side. This longer rope seemed to have served its purpose and it was time to cut it, so I was looking around for a knife (a serrated one, like a kitchen knife). When tying the ropes together, my need (for what exactly I don’t know) had been so great that I’d committed a kind of crime: I’d used a rope that had been hanging from a flagpole on a public building, perhaps a school. Now the sun’s coming up and I’m worried about getting caught, so I start rushing, fumbling nervously for the place where the two ropes meet so I can cut them in half. I don’t know if I manage to cut them or not, but regardless I move on to another section of the rope, the part that runs into the building. I go through a metal door and find myself inside what looks like a sports club. There’s Ignacio again, this time with some other children and teenagers, and an adult—a teacher—who’s addressing them reproachfully. Before opening the door and taking in the scene, I’d heard Ignacio mention my name: he’d been telling a story about me. When he sees me he starts telling a different, more inoffensive story, in such a way that it’s obvious to me what he’s doing. When the teacher speaks reproachfully, I emphasize what he says, backing him up.

The end of the rope is in a child’s hand. I clearly give it quite a tug, because the child’s hand, which is actually a prosthesis, is pulled off. A stump is revealed, covered in leather, and a point like a screw where the hand fits on. The boy reproaches me for pulling his hand off, and I tell him I desperately need his end of the rope back. I stop worrying about his hand and try to undo the rope, which is tied tightly around his wrist, thinking vaguely that I can help him put his hand back on later.

Exercises

January 12