I had to remember to walk next to him and not loiter behind. I was reluctant to leave the other passengers. A few hours ago we were a cohesive unit, smug and loud at Khartoum airport, the lucky few heading north. In the airplane we ate the same food, faced the same direction and acknowledged each other with nods and small smiles. Now we were to separate, dazzled by the bright lights of the terminal, made humble by the plush carpeted floors, chastened by the perfect announcements, one after the other, words we could understand, meanings we could not. From the vacuum of the terminal where all sound was absorbed, we would disperse into the cloudy city and soon forget the pride with which we bought our tickets and left our home. He dislikes it if I walk a few steps behind him. ‘What would people think,’ he says, ‘that we are backward, barbaric.’ He sneers at the Arab women in black abayas walking behind their men. ‘Oppressed, that’s what people would think of them. Here they respect women, treat them as equal; we must be the same,’ he says. So I have to be careful not to fall behind him in step and must bear the weight of his arm around my shoulder, another gesture he had decided to imitate to prove that, though we are Arabs and Africans, we can be modern too.

We waited outside the terminal for the Air Bus to arrive. Only two months away and I had forgotten how wet this country could be. Already my painted toes stuck out of my soaked sandals, a mockery. He looked well, he told me his research was progressing, he had been to Bath for a conference where his supervisor read a paper. ‘It had an acknowledgement of me at the bottom of the first page,’ he said, ‘because I did the simulation work on the computer. In italics, the author thanks Majdy El-Shaykh and so on.’

Majdy will write his own papers one day, he will complete his PhD and have ‘Dr’ before his name. His early doubts, his fears of failure are receding. I should have felt proud. I supposed I would one day, but at that moment I felt tired and insincere. I strained to feel the baby move inside me, but there was only silence.