It was cold when we got back in our beds. The wind found its way through the hastily mended timber and we huddled for comfort as well as warmth. Clementina was snoring before I’d time to turn over the night in my mind. Now was my chance. I put my hand on Kitta’s arm to see if she was awake, but she turned away.

Not now, Meggie mine, she whispered. Not now.

~

There was blood in the bed next morning when I woke, and not from the scratches on my face.

Oh Meggie, don’t fret, Kitta said. It had to arrive, and ye’re prepared for the wee visitor, are ye not?

I was. When Ma had packed two half-loaves in my kist, she’d tut-tutted that I was taking my time about growin’ to be a woman. I’d eyed the thick wads of rag-cloth, folded over and over. I was in no hurry at all, thank you Lord. I’d seen it all my life, this being a woman thing, and I’d held to myself a wishful thought that the longer the wee visitor stayed away, the longer I might pretend the world had other plans for me. But now my luck had run to nought. Well, that’s it, I thought, I will be like the others every month now, shamed at having to wash out my half-loaves each night, each morning. Why we should be shamed when it was the same for all, I couldn’t say, but so it was, an understanding. I was unclean now.

A funny thing, though, lambsie: the half-loaves stayed in my kist after that for a good while to come. The wee visitor always played games with me. But when it came, I was cast poorly.

All that first day, a dragging ache at my back, my insides clenching. I was glad it was the Lord’s day and I could stay abed, curled around my pain, while the others tramped off to pray for God to keep drunken men far from Gremista.

That night, after the midnight bells, I heard the fleet sailing at the back of Sunday. I could not sleep, so I crept out to sit alone on the rise behind the station. Knitting in the cold moonlight, listening to the fishermen singing their prayers:

O hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea

A crunch of footfall nearby made me shiver. How reckless to be out here alone. But as I scurried back, I fancied I saw a tall shadow padding noiselessly along the track, an outline of longish hair, and I was bold enough to wish I’d not been so hasty about leaving.

~