Back Elemental
Chapters (142)
  1. About the Author
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. NOTEBOOK 1
  6. Brukie’s Sandy
  7. April 1972
  8. 1
  9. May 1972
  10. 2
  11. 3
  12. June 1972
  13. 4
  14. July 1972
  15. 5
  16. 6
  17. 7
  18. 8
  19. October 1972
  20. 9
  21. 10
  22. 11
  23. October 1972
  24. 12
  25. December 1972
  26. 13
  27. December 1972
  28. 14
  29. December 1972
  30. NOTEBOOK 2
  31. Brukie’s Sandy
  32. January 1973
  33. 1
  34. 2
  35. 3
  36. 4
  37. 5
  38. 6
  39. March 1973
  40. 7
  41. 8
  42. 9
  43. 10
  44. April 1973
  45. 11
  46. 12
  47. 13
  48. 14
  49. June 1973
  50. 15
  51. July 1973
  52. 16
  53. 17
  54. 18
  55. 19
  56. August 1973
  57. 20
  58. 21
  59. August 1973
  60. 22
  61. 23
  62. 24
  63. August 1973
  64. 25
  65. August 1973
  66. 26
  67. August 1973
  68. 27
  69. NOTEBOOK 3
  70. Brukie’s Sandy
  71. March 1974
  72. 1
  73. 2
  74. 3
  75. 4
  76. 5
  77. April 1974
  78. 6
  79. 7
  80. June 1974
  81. 8
  82. July 1974
  83. 9
  84. August 1974
  85. 10
  86. August 1974
  87. 11
  88. October 1974
  89. 12
  90. October 1974
  91. 13
  92. October 1974
  93. October 1974
  94. 14
  95. October 1974
  96. 15
  97. 16
  98. November 1974
  99. 17
  100. November 1974
  101. December 1974
  102. CODA
  103. Brukie’s Sandy
  104. 1
  105. 2
  106. 3
  107. 4
  108. 5
  109. 6
  110. 7
  111. 8
  112. 9
  113. 10
  114. 11
  115. 12
  116. 13
  117. 14
  118. 15
  119. 16
  120. 17
  121. 18
  122. 19
  123. 20
  124. 21
  125. 22
  126. 23
  127. 24
  128. 25
  129. 26
  130. 27
  131. April 1975
  132. Brukie’s Sandy
  133. 28
  134. 29
  135. 30
  136. 31
  137. 32
  138. 33
  139. Glossary
  140. Note
  141. Acknowledgments
  142. Works Cited

Comes down to this: something to blame, something to point the finger at, something we might be able to ‘fix’. It’s not only reductive, it’s bad science. He lowers the cheese knife he’s been waving around and shrugs, sheepish. Ah, see, lecturing again. You shouldn’t have got me started.

He uses the knife to slice a pear, offers a wedge to Laura.

To get back to your original question: no, I don’t think you’ve passed on to Cooper some altruistic death-wish gene. That’s what you’re getting at, isn’t it? Look, leaving aside the question of compassion—which is what I think of when your grandmother speaks of ‘not standing by and doing nothing’—sacrifice is kind of hardwired into our culture.

She picks at the pear, peeling off bits of skin.

All those men who went to war, like your grandfather. Both of mine, too. A lot of them were just kids, thought they were off to see the world, but many of them understood what they were doing and were ready to die for their country. Who can say where a conviction like that comes from?

Well, there was a lot of social pressure on them, she says slowly. But patriotism … I guess it’s a kind of cultural inheritance. Like religion. And superstition, for that matter. Tribal. What was that term Dawkins invented for ‘cultural genes’?

Memes, you mean? Gideon snorts. Now, if you want reductive …

But it’s uncanny. I can’t get past it. This, this LINEAGE. Meggie, Steven, my mother. And now Cooper, ignoring everything he’s been trained to do, going back into that house when he knew …

Laura! There’s no issue of lineage here. What about you? You’ve never—he splays his hands, palms up, mock dramatic—I don’t know, thrown yourself in front of a mad dog to save a snail, have you? Seriously, your son wasn’t listening to some ancestral voice in his head. He was doing his job. And saving a child’s life.

He wasn’t doing his job, Gideon. That’s just it. He didn’t know where the girl was. He didn’t even know if she was actually in the house. He just ran into the fire, blind.

Gideon’s voice is low. You don’t know that.

Laura’s silent, crumbling a piece of bread between her fingers.

Look, Cooper may have acted a bit recklessly, he continues. He probably did. But if he’d followed the rules, that little girl would be dead. Simple as that. Like Brukie’s Sandy. He looks at her over the tops of his glasses. Laura, if he’d followed the rules, he’d have done just what the old man did.

She stands abruptly, jolting the glass, spilling wine on the blanket.

Gideon joins her at the water’s edge.