Back Elemental
Chapters (142)
  1. About the Author
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. NOTEBOOK 1
  6. Brukie’s Sandy
  7. April 1972
  8. 1
  9. May 1972
  10. 2
  11. 3
  12. June 1972
  13. 4
  14. July 1972
  15. 5
  16. 6
  17. 7
  18. 8
  19. October 1972
  20. 9
  21. 10
  22. 11
  23. October 1972
  24. 12
  25. December 1972
  26. 13
  27. December 1972
  28. 14
  29. December 1972
  30. NOTEBOOK 2
  31. Brukie’s Sandy
  32. January 1973
  33. 1
  34. 2
  35. 3
  36. 4
  37. 5
  38. 6
  39. March 1973
  40. 7
  41. 8
  42. 9
  43. 10
  44. April 1973
  45. 11
  46. 12
  47. 13
  48. 14
  49. June 1973
  50. 15
  51. July 1973
  52. 16
  53. 17
  54. 18
  55. 19
  56. August 1973
  57. 20
  58. 21
  59. August 1973
  60. 22
  61. 23
  62. 24
  63. August 1973
  64. 25
  65. August 1973
  66. 26
  67. August 1973
  68. 27
  69. NOTEBOOK 3
  70. Brukie’s Sandy
  71. March 1974
  72. 1
  73. 2
  74. 3
  75. 4
  76. 5
  77. April 1974
  78. 6
  79. 7
  80. June 1974
  81. 8
  82. July 1974
  83. 9
  84. August 1974
  85. 10
  86. August 1974
  87. 11
  88. October 1974
  89. 12
  90. October 1974
  91. 13
  92. October 1974
  93. October 1974
  94. 14
  95. October 1974
  96. 15
  97. 16
  98. November 1974
  99. 17
  100. November 1974
  101. December 1974
  102. CODA
  103. Brukie’s Sandy
  104. 1
  105. 2
  106. 3
  107. 4
  108. 5
  109. 6
  110. 7
  111. 8
  112. 9
  113. 10
  114. 11
  115. 12
  116. 13
  117. 14
  118. 15
  119. 16
  120. 17
  121. 18
  122. 19
  123. 20
  124. 21
  125. 22
  126. 23
  127. 24
  128. 25
  129. 26
  130. 27
  131. April 1975
  132. Brukie’s Sandy
  133. 28
  134. 29
  135. 30
  136. 31
  137. 32
  138. 33
  139. Glossary
  140. Note
  141. Acknowledgments
  142. Works Cited

At the grave, Laura’s anxiety is louder than the minister’s words. She hunches down, winds the pashmina round her throat. No-one likes funerals. No-one. But when one of your own has come so close to death, even being at a cemetery feels reckless, like you are tempting fate. She would have preferred to make her excuses, send flowers, a letter to Wendy—she’d even written out what she wanted to say. But in the end, well. What disrespect it would be to the memory of Aunty Jessie, this lovely woman who had been a presence in her life for so long. And to what Grunnie Meggie and Wendy’s grandmother, Aunty Clementina, had meant to each other. The two families had drifted apart over the years; even the friendship between her and Wendy had dwindled to Christmas cards and a birthday call if one of them remembered. But the bond between their grandmothers, and their mothers, too, had been like family, like blood, and it is that she is here to honour. Under the circumstances, Wendy would have understood if she’d stayed away, but she’d thought of her mother, and Grunnie, and she just couldn’t do it.

Even so, people seem to be avoiding her, trying not to stare. Or is she imagining it?

… Dust to dust.

A quintessence of dust, she thinks. The finest.

Thunder breaks on the horizon and she raises her face to look for lightning, forgetting, as always, the order of things: light before sound. A glance at the grave again. So Aunty Jessie had wanted a burial, or perhaps it’s what Wendy had wanted for her. Not so her own mother. Kathryn had always been clear about that. Cast my ashes on the sand, she’d told her. Somewhere out near South Beach. If the earth doesn’t take me home, the wind or waves will do it.

Where’s home? Laura once asked.

Where it begins, she’d said, her mouth tight. Typically cryptic Kathryn.

She’d followed her mother’s wishes, and there’d been no plaque, either.

A young woman in a burgundy blazer is walking from person to person, offering a canister of earth. Laura takes a handful, steps forward, lets the sand fall.

Goodbye, Un-ty Jessie, she whispers. Rest in peace.

The grass is spongy and the heels of her boots sink into it. When she turns, a woman is waiting for her, two open arms.

Laura …

She hugs Wendy, buries her face for a moment in the soft collar of her coat. When they pull apart, Wendy grips her hands.

Thank you for coming. Above and beyond, with everything else that’s happening. And it’s a long drive for you, from the hills. Ma would have been so touched.

I loved your mother.

You were so very precious to her. Wendy’s smile falters. And how … how is …?