To Max’s amusement, as spring turned into summer, Dani couldn’t seem to pull the trigger on her sex resolution. She would arrange dates but somehow never ended up doing the deed. While he would grant that his experience wasn’t representative, he was certain that with sufficient motivation, it wasn’t that difficult to find a decent enough man whose breath didn’t smell like hamburger with whom to do the deed.

Dani was the full package. Beautiful, funny, smart—not that smart necessarily mattered in these kinds of encounters. It did irritate him to think of her innate intelligence and wit being squandered on some Neanderthal who thought she was merely a pretty face and a nice body. But the point was, it wasn’t that hard.

“Well, hello,” he said, picking up her call late one August night in a hotel in Innsbruck. He and Seb were in town to meet with representatives from the museum design firm they’d hired. “What was wrong with HarlemHipster?” he asked, referencing her latest failed match.

“How do you know there was something wrong with him?”

“Because you only left an hour ago and you were supposed to have drinks first. Unless you did it in the bathroom at the bar, I am left to conclude it was a bust.”

“It was a bust. HarlemHipster was allergic to dogs.”

He stepped out onto his balcony. “Well you’re not going to marry him.”

“I can’t marry him. I’m still married to someone else,” she deadpanned.

“Yes, how is that going?”

“It was a joke.”

“I got that. I just didn’t laugh. I’m too focused on trying to fix your sex problems.”

“My sex problems? You sound like Dr. Ruth.”

“Well, my friend, here’s some tough love: You are failing on the whole resolution front. HarlemHipster is the eighth man you’ve met up with and rejected in six months. What’s the common denominator in all these encounters?”

“Are you telling me to have sex with someone I don’t want to have sex with? Are you telling me I should have had sex with Mr. Meat?” He had been semi-teasing, but her voice had gone defensive and shrill.

“No! God. Of course not.” Honestly, he was always a little relieved when she called him with a strikeout. It wasn’t that he was jealous. He just didn’t think any of these men were worthy of her. The one before this had been a professional Fortnite player, for god’s sake. But at the same time, looking at the situation objectively, if she wasn’t looking for Mr. Forever, but Mr. Right Now, she could stand to lower her standards.

Not that he thought she should have to.