He’d been popping the stimulants like candy, along with the rest of Dauntless’s engineering team. The lull in the fight had given the battleship’s crew a chance to get some real rest, all save those charged with repairing the enormous damage the ship had taken. Carson and his team had been at it for forty straight hours. And they’d still have been working if Commander Fritz hadn’t expressly ordered them all to take a four hour sleep break.

Or, maybe you’re just scared shitless…

Carson had been grateful to be too busy to seriously think about the situation. He was a combat officer, just like all the others on Dauntless, but he’d been a child the last time the Confederation fought a real war. Even the edginess of the duty along the Union border had been theoretical, the worry about what might happen. But the last few days…that had been combat, real and unfiltered. He’d watched comrades die, seen massive explosions rip through the ship’s structure.

Now that a combat badge really means something…

He rolled over, slamming his fist into the pillow before putting his head back down. He thought about taking something to help him sleep, but the idea was so ridiculous it almost made him laugh. He had to be back on duty in just over three hours, and he’d probably need another hit of stims as it was. If he took a soporific now, he’d be a zombie when he woke up.

He sighed and sat up abruptly. He wasn’t going to get to sleep, that much seemed clear. It was bad…a few hours of real sleep would have done him some good. But worse, now he had to sit here for three hours with nothing to do but think. And thinking wasn’t something he wanted to do. Not right now.

His thoughts had a choice of methods to torture him right now. Fear of the enemy, of dying here in this forsaken place. Letting his comrades down, watching them die.

Lise…

Or he could think of his wife, of their last parting. She had sent him mail in the most recent com dump. It had been short, affectionate, but he still knew he’d hurt her when he’d left. He was glad they’d made up by the time he left, but even as he hugged her the last time, he knew she was still hurt. She’d tried to hide it, but he’d seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. To her, he had chosen Dauntless over her, his comrades of a few months’ service over his pregnant wife.