Back Drop Dead Gorgeous
Chapters (63)
  1. Also by Lauren Landish
  2. Chapter 1
  3. Zoey
  4. Chapter 2
  5. Blake
  6. Chapter 3
  7. Blake
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Zoey
  10. Chapter 5
  11. Blake
  12. Chapter 6
  13. Zoey
  14. Chapter 7
  15. Blake
  16. Chapter 8
  17. Zoey
  18. Chapter 9
  19. Blake
  20. Chapter 10
  21. Zoey
  22. Chapter 11
  23. Blake
  24. Chapter 12
  25. Zoey
  26. Chapter 13
  27. Blake
  28. Chapter 14
  29. Zoey
  30. Chapter 15
  31. Zoey
  32. Chapter 16
  33. Blake
  34. Chapter 17
  35. Zoey
  36. Chapter 18
  37. Blake
  38. Chapter 19
  39. Zoey
  40. Chapter 20
  41. Blake
  42. Chapter 21
  43. Zoey
  44. Chapter 22
  45. Blake
  46. Chapter 23
  47. Zoey
  48. Chapter 24
  49. Blake
  50. Chapter 25
  51. Zoey
  52. Chapter 26
  53. Blake
  54. Chapter 27
  55. Zoey
  56. Chapter 28
  57. Blake
  58. Epilogue
  59. Zoey
  60. Excerpt: My Big Fat Fake Wedding
  61. Violet—Five Months Ago
  62. Violet
  63. About the Author

Hell, or my own name.

I click at the screen, entering gibberish, unless I changed my username to asdfjkl;mmmm, and I’m reasonably sure I didn’t do that in a fugue state or while sleep-working. It’s a real thing—sometimes, I work out details of questionable cases while snoring away in the middle of the night when I’m not limited by rational thinking.

When my phone beeps its displeasure at my holding down the M button, Blake’s lips lift into a full, white-toothed grin as he slouches, throwing one arm casually along the back of the booth. Humor dances in his eyes as though he’s in no rush for me to do the paperwork that he came all the way out to Williamson County to badger me about.

“The smallest bones in the human body are in the middle ear. The ossicles—malleus, incus, and stapes.”

My fingers curl into the super-protective, hard plastic case of my phone. It usually keeps it from a fate worse than death, aka a blue screen of inoperability, but though it guards against gravity, I don’t think it’s strong enough to fight off being squeezed like a toothpaste tube.

Why did I say that?

Normal people, ones not like me, obviously, would ask questions and make small talk, but do I do that? No, I throw out useless factoids because he said he’s on a barroom trivia team thirty minutes ago while listing off hobbies and interests.

It’s not even conversationally relevant now.

His head tilts to the right the slightest bit and then he volleys back, “The stapes is roughly the size of a grain of rice.”

Holy shit! Is he trying to out-trivia me? Or trivia-flirting? Flirtriva? It’s like nerd-sexy to the max. He probably knows the answers to random game show questions, but anatomy and physiology? This is my wheelhouse.

“Everyone knows the adult human body has 206 bones.” I wait for his nod before continuing, “But did you know infants have almost 300? They slowly ossify and fuse together to get to the 206 everyone learns in school.” My words speed up until they’re rushing out under the weight of his stare.

My breath hitches when he leans forward and says quietly, “Except when there are 207 bones in a human body.”

It takes me a solid heartbeat to figure out that he’s making a dirty joke because he says it so utterly seriously that I start singing the bone song to double-check that I haven’t miscounted. I want to recoil in disgust or tell him he’s shocking and filthy. I want to get up and walk out, leaving him wondering what just happened.

But before I can do any of that, I laugh . . . loud and hard. I cover my mouth with my hand, knowing that I’ll draw unwanted attention and gossip from the people at the bar.

“Well, for half of us, at least.”