‘I’m afraid I can’t answer that. All I can say to you is that many people do. But you must commit to the process – to recovery – with the same determination you have approached your working life. Then, I think, there is a high chance of success. But no one else can do that work for you.’

‘Yes . . . Thank you.’

‘I’ll check with Sarah when your next appointment is and I’ll see you then.’

Kate ended the call. She put her phone down, placed her face on her knees and closed her eyes.

17

17

GUS BLEW IN through the door with rare loquacity. ‘I’ve been made captain of the As,’ he said.

Kate sat up, feeling dazed. If she hadn’t slept, she had nevertheless been lying on the sofa in a kind of trance. Perhaps that was where you ended up: perpetually caught between wakefulness and sleep. ‘The what?’

‘The As. Mr Jenkyns just told me. Next term.’ He took in her confusion. ‘Cricket, Mum!’

‘Oh, of course. Yes, sorry. Congratulations.’

‘Do you mind if I call Dad?’

‘Ermmm . . .’

‘I’d really love to tell him. He’ll be so pleased.’

Kate couldn’t see a reason to refuse. Gus dialled from his own phone and it was a revelation to her that he had Stuart’s new number in Moscow. ‘I’ve been made captain of the As,’ Gus said, without introduction.

She watched her son listen for a moment, his face aglow with his own and his father’s pleasure. ‘Mr Jenkyns said it was between me and Horsington and that I had shown a much greater degree of maturity. I’m still going to open.’

Gus laughed at something his father said. ‘It’s cool,’ he said. ‘Thanks, Dad. I wish you could come and watch. Maybe we can do a tour to Venice!’

Kate felt like she was intruding, but she couldn’t drag herself away. She watched her son revel in the news with his father in the full knowledge they would never share in the game. For the first time, she wondered if she had been right to insist so resolutely that she and Stuart could have no future together. Gus looked up at her and handed her his phone. ‘Dad wants to talk to you.’

With that, Gus discreetly disappeared into the kitchen. ‘Hello . . . Stuart?’

‘Kate . . .’

‘Yes, what is it?’

‘Isn’t it great about Gus? He’d never have admitted it to either of us, but he’s been holding out for that. It’ll mean the world to him.’

‘The pleasure on his face was something to behold.’

‘He needs a bit of a boost. They both do.’ Kate didn’t know what to say to that. ‘All I have to do now is persuade the school to televise all under-fourteen A games and we’ll be away.’