‘Woman? Woman?’ screeched the woman. She seemed exceedingly discontented with the categorization. ‘Call me “woman”, will you? Good-for-nothing slob! You’re no son of mine! Why we’d go frantic looking for you whenever you’d wander off, I don’t know! We should have just left you for the Shadow to find!’

‘There ain’t no Shadow in the tunnels, Ma,’ said the man patiently.

‘Oh now you know everything out there, do you? You’ve searched all the tunnels yourself, have you?’

‘Ma, everyone’s searched. There ain’t no—look, forget it! Why we talking about this? I can’t do it, all right? That’s all! I can’t—’

‘Can’t! Can’t! Course he can’t! Can’t do anything, but ask him to say “Can’t” and best in the world at it he is! Good for nothing! Why haven’t you finished cleaning the artwork?’

‘But Ma, I was doing it when you—’

‘So now it’s my fault you’re useless, and lazy besides, is it? Excuses! All excuses! You’re no good, Joseph D’Amato, and you’ll bring—’

‘Shame on the family,’ said the man wearily. ‘Yes, Ma. I know.’

‘Oh, so now you know, do you? You’ll interrupt your mother, will you? Get out there and clean that stuff, and don’t let me see your face till you’re done! Go!’

There was a scuffling sound, like feet suddenly skidding on the ground, and Joe, the short, squat man from Colby’s unit, stumbled through the curtains, a thoroughly unhappy look on his face. From the velocity with which he was propelled forward it was clear his movement had been aided by a push or something of the sort.

He looked up and saw them, the look of momentary surprise quickly replaced by one of utter relief. From the other side of the partition, the woman continued shouting.

‘I don’t hear you working, Joseph! Do I need to come there myself?’

Joe looked at them. ‘Say you’ve come to cancel my leave, Cap’n,’ he begged. ‘Save me from this harridan.’

‘I heard that!’ screeched the woman from the other side. ‘Harridan, eh? Now you’ll run me down to the neighbours, will you? Who’s there now? More of your rascal friends! I’ll show them!’

The partition separated and a woman burst through, holding a broom. She was dark and tiny, no more than five feet tall, and she would have had to stretch to make it there. She glared at them.

‘Joseph can’t come out! He’s got work to do!’

‘Ma, it’s the captain,’ said Joe, ‘come to summon me away on an important and life-threatening mission no doubt.’ He sniffed importantly.