‘Called me O’Flanagan,’ muttered Kieran. ‘Not good.’

‘Answer me, O’Flanagan! What have you been up to?’

Kieran jerked his head up, forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace. Maybe his head really was hurting. Or maybe he wasn’t happy at all to see Colby. Albert suspected it was both. ‘Oh, nothin’, Cap’n. Jus’ thissun that, y’know. Nothin’ much.’

‘All I know is you weren’t where you were supposed to be this morning, which is at breakfast. On your turn to pay.’

‘Well, I got back really late an’—’

Colby ignored him, although his eyes seemed to harden even more. ‘You weren’t at breakfast, nor are you seen the rest of the day, and I come and find you here, rolling in the mud like the local drunkard!’

‘Aw, not like that, Cap’n,’ protested Kieran. ‘Rollin’ in my bed, maybe, but—’

‘You think this is funny?’

‘Um—’

‘No, do you think this is funny? Answer me, O’Flanagan!’

‘No, sir,’ said Kieran gloomily.

‘You were at the tavern last night, weren’t you? Drinking yourself sick like a lout?’

‘No, Cap’n, it’s not like—’

‘And then you’re lying passed out till all hours with no thought for anything else! Call yourself a soldier? What’s that on your face?’

‘What?’ said Kieran, suddenly self-conscious. He dabbed at the mark on his cheek, then sniffed at his fingers, and realization dawned on his face. ‘Oh, that! Nothin’! Jus’ me an’ Johnny Bardle had a bit o’ a mud wrestle on the way back an’—’

‘I have no interest in what you do on these debauched excursions of yours with your delinquent friends! Look at you! You’re a disgrace to the unit, O’Flanagan!’

Kieran muttered something inaudible. In front of him, Colby was warming up to the task. ‘—dereliction of duty! Lack of control! Zero discipline!

‘Not so loud,’ hissed Kieran. ‘Please, Cap’n. Gran’s here an’ if she hears yer—’

‘I hope she hears me! In fact, I’ve a good mind to have a word with her myself about your conduct!’

‘No, Cap’n!’ begged the big man, terror shining in his eyes, instantly overshadowing the combination of sleep and lack of recovery from the previous night’s exertion. ‘She’ll kill me! She really will! Please, Cap’n!’

‘Tell me, O’Flanagan, do you even know, what’s been happening around here?’

‘Sure I do, Cap’n! They caught Marcus an’—’

‘As usual, you know nothing, O’Flanagan! Useless, that’s what you are! Worse than useless!’

‘Sorry, Cap’n,’ mumbled the object of the analysis, hanging his head. ‘It’s a day off and—’

‘Leave stands cancelled, O’Flanagan!’

‘Sir? But—’

‘Not my doing. If you hadn’t been out all day, you might have heard there’s to be a reckoning tonight. Consider this advance notice.’