“I sent her ten messages in ten days. She knows exactly how I am.”

“She said you stopped suddenly.”

“ Suddenly? Ten acts of ritual humiliation is all she gets, without a reply.” I hadn’t meant to sound bitter, but Angelo was already beginning to look like a peace envoy stranded on a battlefield. I laughed. “Tell her whatever she wants to hear. Tell her I’m devastated … but recovering rapidly. I don’t want her to feel insulted … but I don’t want her to feel guilty, either.”

He smiled uncertainly, as if I’d made a tasteless joke. “She’s taking it badly.”

I clenched my fists and said slowly, “I know that, and so am I, but don’t you think she’d feel better if you told her … ” I stopped. “What did she say you should tell me if I asked if there was any chance of her coming back?”

“She said to say no.”

“Of course. But … did she mean it? What did she tell you to say if I asked if she meant it?”

“Andrew—”

“Forget it.”

A long, awkward silence descended. I considered asking where she was, who she was with, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me. And I didn’t really want to know.

I said, “I’m meant to be flying out to Stateless tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I heard. Good luck.”

“There is another journalist who’d be willing to take over the project. I’d only have to make one call—”

He shook his head. “There’s no reason to do that. It wouldn’t change anything.”

The silence returned. After a while, Angelo reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out a small plastic vial of tablets. He said, “I’ve got some Ds—”

I groaned. “You never used to take that shit.”

He glanced up at me, wounded. “They’re harmless. I like to switch off sometimes. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing.”

Disinhibitors were non-toxic and non-addictive. They created a mild sensation of well-being, and increased the effort required for considered thought – rather like a moderate dose of alcohol or cannabis, with few of the side effects. Their concentration in the bloodstream was self-limiting – above a certain level, the molecule catalyzed its own destruction – so taking a whole bottle was exactly the same as swallowing a single D.

Angelo offered me the vial. I took out a tablet reluctantly, and held it in my palm.