Nobody came, of course. The list of excuses seemed entirely valid: Mary had her grandchildren visiting; Kaylee was at a talk on domestic abuse; Chandrima had judo; Darren, salsa; Tomas was giving a lecture on Wittgenstein’s Philosophical Investigations; Mrs McNulty was off to the bingo; the man at Number 29 dropped a note through my letter box to tell me he was going to be away on a course on effective planning and could I put his recycling out. Dylan rang to wish me a happy birthday, at least, but then apologised for not being able to make it. It is also Stuart’s birthday today, apparently, and Sophie had got them all tickets to a new West End musical.

It was only Douglas that I felt disappointed with. He didn’t even bother to tell me that he couldn’t make it.

As I sat beneath the disco ball in my shed, my growth mindset felt itself under severe pressure once more. But, thanks to a combination of vol-au-vents, cheap lager and The End of the Affair (which I have begun to re-read) I powered through. On reflection, this constitutes one of my more successful birthdays of recent years.

Saturday July 21st

Even my Saturday newspaper contains added Salt. He gazes smugly out at me from the Literature & Culture section, as he shares with the world what he’ll be reading on his holiday this summer. What a pretentious selection of books! They should put signs up on whatever Mediterranean beach he’ll be lying on:

‘READ AT YOUR OWN RISK’

‘SLIPPERY METAPHORS’

‘BEWARE: SUBMERGED MEANING’

They’re not for the likes of me. I’ll follow my usual practice of leaving my reading to the lottery of a holiday cottage bookshelf: all those potboilers, page-turners and bodice-rippers, with their pages crimpled from sun-cream and god knows what other kinds of liquids.

Dylan is off to Marbella for two weeks with Sophie and Stuart over the summer. I’d originally had hopes of something grand for the pair of us, too, but with another three bills arriving just this morning, I’ve had to downsize my dreams to a week in a cottage just outside Scarborough. Dylan took the news pretty well, all things considered.

Sunday July 22nd

Having now read The End of the Affair three times, I thought I’d attempt to get back on civil terms with the book group by sharing with them a deep analysis of its major themes, talking points, and literary strengths and weaknesses. I began work on the PowerPoint slides today. I think I shall print out packs for Thursday rather than bring along my own projector screen: how sad would that be!

Taking inspiration from Kaylee’s First World War reading list, I’ve organised the slides into the following sections:

1. Betrayal
2. Guilt and shame
3. The corrupting power of human love
4. Suffering
5. Death
6. Irony

All in all, we should be set for a fun evening.

Monday July 23rd