The Slazenger tennis ball of day-seizing had been struck firmly back into my court. But this time the response was harder. It wasn’t simply a case of repeating my ‘Yes’ from earlier: I’d already ventured down that linguistic cul-de-sac and to remain in it would reveal a distinct lack of imagination. I needed a response that was not only affirmative but one that might subtly reveal my enthusiasm at such a prospect. In the end, I settled on:

Sounds good.

There are those who hang around waiting for life to come to them. But it won’t!

Some days, you just have to go out and find it.

Monday May 21st

I’ve come down with a severe case of affluenza. The redundancy money has only been in my bank account for a few hours but already I feel like a man transformed. I walk with the straightened gait and breezy self-confidence of a man who knows his own worth (£15,000).

All I need now is my writer’s shed. Until then, I’ve decided to take a well-earned staycation. I may knock off the odd poem in the interim but the serious business of writing will begin upon my shed’s arrival in a couple of weeks.

Besides, I have the whole business of meeting up with Liz to contend with and I always find it hard to write when my head is full of thoughts.

Tuesday May 22nd

A first date – if that’s what this is – in an art gallery is all very well but what if I’m asked to contribute an opinion or an original thought? What if I make some schoolboy error and get my Monets and Manets mixed up? Or mistake the cleaner’s bucket and mop for an exhibit?

When in doubt, read your way out. I headed to the bookshop in search of the reassurance of tomes. Two hours later, I staggered out with my booty: An Illustrated History of Modern Art; An Introduction to Impressionism; Art in the Twentieth Century; Degas for Dummies; The Bluffer’s Guide to Art; Short Introductions to Art Nouveau, Cubism, Conceptual Art, Pop Art; and a 700-page biography of Picasso.

When I got home, I took out an online annual subscription to the Grove Dictionary of Art just to be sure, and because the thirty-four-volume print edition is now out of print.

Wednesday May 23rd

It’s incredible what can be achieved when there’s not the inconvenience of a job to get in the way. If I had to sit an exam today on modern art, I’d be unnerving the other candidates by putting my hand up for more paper twenty minutes in.

I spent the afternoon creating prompt cards containing pertinent facts, which I intend to throw out there casually on Friday. For example: