And now she was reaching, like she always did, for something or someone else to cling to and comfort her. It might be Ryuu, Teo, or even Tannis now that they were on the same side. But if she gave into any of her feelings too soon, she might hold on to someone who wasn’t right for her. She might once again confuse kindness and favors with owing someone her life and loyalty. Until she made sense of what she truly wanted, she would guard her heart. Even against someone like Teo, who she knew would never hurt her. The last thing she wanted was to risk losing his friendship if she gave into these scattered emotions too quickly, so she would hold back even from him until she was ready.

“I’m worried about what you’re going to do now,” Teo said then, breaking the awkward silence.

“I’ll be fine,” she said with a shrug.

“You always are, aren’t you?” Teo asked. “I know you can handle anything. But just in case, you know I’ll be there for you.”

“And I will for you,” she said with a smile, then waved as she left.

48

The scent of grass fresh from the rain overnight mingled with the smoke belching above the train station. Aina stepped along cobblestone streets that soon grew choked with people, always the same crowds and hectic clamor she’d grown up with in Kosín. The square with King Verrain’s statue opened wide, packed with workers on their way to the factories as the sun rose above them.

Everything had changed overnight, though it still seemed the same. Maybe she was imagining it, but she felt the city brimming with some new energy underneath—maybe it was hope, or a growing will to fight.

When she descended the muddy hill leading into the Stacks, it still felt as if daggers were pointed at her from all directions, but soon enough, everyone who mattered would know that she’d nearly beaten Kohl. News traveled fast, and if she needed to provide a leak, she would: how she’d held the Blood King at knifepoint, how he’d begged, how he’d fled and joined a Steel rather than face her again. All the fear and respect she needed to protect herself would be handed to her once everyone knew.

She passed by her parents’ old house, glancing at the closed door that shielded a new family inside, and at the rooftop where she’d hidden from the world so many times.

As she stalled in front of it, she began to hear faint gunshots in her head, and saw her parents falling to the floor, the memory having replayed in her head thousands of times. But new details came back to her now. Her father’s arms held out as if he could shield her and her mother with his arms alone. Her mother’s hand stretching back, fingers spread, like she was trying to force Aina farther away from the man who wanted to kill them.