The Titians were very nice. So were the Reubens, although I did not see anything in them to explain why they should have a sandwich named for them. But that thought did make me realize I was hungry, and I managed to steer Rita through three more long rooms filled with very nice paintings and into a cafe on one of the upper levels.

After a snack that was more expensive than airport food and only a little tastier, we spent the rest of the day wandering through the museum looking at room after room of paintings and sculptures. There really were an awful lot of them, and by the time we finally stepped out into the twilit courtyard again my formerly magnificent brain had been pounded into submission.

“Well,” I said, as we sauntered across the flagstones, “that was certainly a full day”

“Oohhh” she said, and her eyes were still large and bright, as they had been for most of the day. “That was absolutely incredible!” And she put an arm around me and nestled close as if I had been personally responsible for creating the entire museum. It made walking a bit more difficult, but it was, after all, the sort of thing one did on a honeymoon in Paris, so I let her cling on and we staggered across the courtyard and through the gate into the street.

As we turned the corner a young woman with more facial piercings than I would have thought possible stepped in front of us and thrust a piece of paper into Rita's hands. “Now to see the real art,” she said. “Tomorrow night, eh?”

“Merci,” Rita said blankly, and the woman moved past, thrusting her papers at the rest of the evening crowd.

I think she probably could have gotten a few more earrings on the left side,” I said as Rita frowned at the paper. “And she missed a spot on her forehead.”

“Oh,” said Rita. “It's a performance piece.” Now it was my turn to stare blankly, and I did. “What is?”

“Oh, that's so exciting,” she said. “And we don't have anything to do tomorrow night. We're going!”

“Going where?”

“This is just perfect,” she said.

And maybe Paris really is a magical place after all. Because Rita was right.

Sin determinar

TWO

PERFECTION WAS IN A SMALL AND SHADOWED STREET NOT too far from the Seine, in what Rita breathlessly informed me was the Rive Gauche, and it took the form of a storefront performance space called Realite. We had hurried through dinner —even skipping dessert! —in order to get there at 7.30, as the flyer had urged.

There were about two dozen people inside when we got there, clustered together in small groups in front of a series of flat-screen TV monitors mounted on the walls. It all seemed very gallery-like, until I picked up one of the brochures. It was printed in French, English and German. I skipped ahead to the English and began to read.