Dear Tara,

Your brother is lucky to have a sister who cares for him as much as you do. I understand your desire to protect him, but you can only do so much. If you’re unable to speak to one or both of your parents about what your brother is doing, I urge you to talk to another adult you trust, a teacher, school counselor, neighbor or coach, someone who can help you navigate this situation. Tell them what you’ve told me and ask for help. Your brother may be angry at first, but one day he’ll thank you for keeping him out of big trouble. Please write to me and let me know how your situation resolves itself.

Hugs,

Erin

She had a team of experts on retainer whom she could call on to advise her on how to answer questions when needed, but some, like Tara’s, were more clear-cut. The girl needed to tell someone she trusted and allow them to relieve her burden. She hoped Tara would write back to let her know the outcome.

Sometimes people wrote back to say her advice had backfired and made a bad situation worse. Erin tried to learn from that kind of feedback, but the disclaimer at the bottom of each column and email absolved her of any binding responsibility toward the people she corresponded with. And the paper’s legal team vetted every answer before it went live online or in the paper.

Dear Erin,

My life has been destroyed by the discovery that my husband is having an affair—with my friend. I’m devastated, angry, hurt and so many other things I can’t begin to put into words. Having been betrayed by two people I loved is ruining me. I can’t find a way out of this unbearable pain. Please tell me how to make myself feel better and how to live without these two people who were so important to me.

Debbie

God, what to even say to this one?