Could she turn over control of her heart, her life, her love to someone who had the power to devastate her? What if something happened to him, too? How would she ever endure that kind of loss a second time? Wouldn’t it be easier—and safer—to stay single and unencumbered, to never risk more than she could afford to lose?

These were the questions that kept her awake at night as she tried to find the courage she would need to take the enormous step he was asking her to make. The woman she’d once been, before life and tragedy changed her, would’ve been all in. She would’ve run to Slim with her arms and heart wide open to the possibilities. She would’ve embraced the joy and given no thought whatsoever to the fear of what might happen.

Post-9/11 Erin had learned to be wary, cautious and obsessive about the safety of those she loved. Would her obsessiveness smother a man like Slim, who was used to doing his own thing without anyone to answer to?

She went through her days and nights exhausted and overwhelmed by the debate that raged within her as she supported her parents, talked to Slim and texted with her Gansett friends, who checked in regularly as she tried to figure out her next move.

Her dad had been released from the hospital three days after Slim’s visit and was receiving at-home physical and occupational therapy as he continued to recover quickly.

“There’s really no need for you to stick around here if you’ve got better things to do,” Tom said to her over breakfast on a Friday morning, ten days after Slim went home to Florida.

“I don’t mind staying awhile longer to keep you guys company.”

“Or you could get on a plane tonight and go see the guy you’re thinking about constantly.”

Erin stared at her dad, her mouth agape from his unusually blunt statement.

“Are you denying that you’re thinking constantly about him?”

She tried not to squirm under his intense stare. “No.”

Tom struggled to butter his own toast, but Erin knew he wanted to do it himself, so she refrained from helping him. “You ought to do something about that.”

“I agree, honey,” Mary Beth said. “You haven’t been yourself since he left, and we just want you to be happy. He makes you happy.”

Yes, he certainly did. He made her happier than she’d ever dreamed of being, and she wanted nothing more than to grab on to that feeling with both hands and never let it go. But what if… No. No. No. She simply couldn’t bear the merry-go-round of thoughts her brain was torturing her with any longer. She was about to snap from the unending debate.