Sitting on the bathroom floor I find that I can’t get up. My legs have no strength in them. This shouldn’t be affecting me this way. I knew what I was doing when I seduced Lander. I knew who he was. I knew what he did.

But on a very deep level I had stopped believing it. I stopped believing in his guilt.

I was only supposed to have sex with him, but somewhere along the line my heart got involved.

Of all the ways I’ve failed my mother, this is by far my biggest betrayal. It was bad enough when I turned away from her when I thought she was guilty. But now I know that she was innocent and I’ve been fantasizing about riding off into the sunset with a man who is basically her murderer.

“Bell?” I hear Lander’s voice moving down the hallway. I stay curled up in a ball. I know I need to get myself together, but how can I do that? How can I be here? How can I walk out of this room and let that man touch me?

“Bell?” Now his voice is farther away, probably in the living room. I force myself to my feet and lean over the sink before splashing cold water on my face.

Pull it together, pull it together, pull it together.

I look up, stare at my reflection; water is dripping from my chin.

I can’t be here.

I hear footsteps coming back down the hall. Coming toward me.

Quickly I pat my face dry and try to compose myself, only to find that composure is completely beyond my grasp.

I can’t be here.

“Bell?” His voice is soft this time, and it’s right outside the door.

I open my mouth to tell him to wait, but no sound comes out. I watch the doorknob turn, stupefied and almost not understanding what I’m seeing. I take a step back as Lander pushes the door open. His expression is calm, knowing, and almost sympathetic.

“Bell,” he says. And then he holds up my phone, the picture of his anagram still on the screen, and in his other hand is the business card with the solution.

Nick Foley’s name is illegible. But We Silenced isn’t. And that’s all he really needs to see to know that I got the answer.

In a moment of panic I have been inexcusably careless.

And it’s going to cost me everything.

He puts the items down on the bathroom counter and reaches for me, but I step back again. I can’t focus my eyes. Lander is nothing more than a blur of color. He’s a stranger, a dazzling monster. I’ve never known him at all.

“It’s all right, Bell,” he says calmly.

I shake my head, take another step back. I wanted to be with this man.